It's been a month since I have checked in here!!!!!

A full month as of tomorrow. That is awful.  Unfortunately, I have been a little under the weather.  I will do the best I can to catch up. There is a new format for Blogger and I am hating this. I hope it works. This is the first time I am trying it.

So the last time I was here it was April 11. So much has happened since. This was an extremely tough week for me. At the beginning of the week I had a cat scan with a barium swallow. The barium went right through me all day long and weakened me something terrible. The next day I had an endoscopy, so I was put under.  That further weakened me.  On Wednesday, I started taking two new prescriptions for my stomach. I told the doctor that I didn't think this was a good idea as I had tried the Ursadiol on two other occasions and I was very sick from it before. However, he said he wanted me to try it. Given that both times I have had it before, I had a gallbladder, I figured I would give it a whirl as I no longer have a gallbladder. So on Wednesday, I started the new prescription. From that day on I got sicker and sicker and weaker and weaker. I was an absolute mess. I wasn't sure if it was due to the barium that knocked me out or the endoscopy.  I could not stand as my legs literally were shaking. I couldn't shower. I tried three times on three days and had to walk out because I nearly passed out. I walked out wet and laid right down on my bed. I couldn't move from my chair. I completely lost my appetite. Every time I tried to eat, I would literally pass out and have to lay on my chair. Every time I moved from the chair, I had to sit back down.  Something was definitely wrong.

On Thursday, I had an appointment here. I could barely concentrate. Bill had school. Ping had tennis and there was open house at school. That was an absolute nightmare for me.  I know that may sound odd, but when you can't stand up straight and think straight, the last place you need to be is an open house with a ton of people, kids and teachers.  I was in an absolute fog. It was horrible. I was so weak all over.  I made it through though. Put the kids to bed and that was that.

On top of all of the above, I had a cold and had lost my voice. So I was miserable.

On Friday, I had therapy with Yamira. Sadly I was too sick to take her, so Bill took her. I was grateful. I could not get off the chair. Every time I did, I wanted to faint.  I couldn't stop shaking still too.  That night I had a massage. I thought it would make me feel better. It was great. I love the woman I go too. She is wonderful. However, I couldn't speak to her as my voice was gone. That made things very rough as we usually talk. So I sat there and tried to strain my voice.  Nightmare!

On Saturday, I had a ton of things I wanted to do. Too sick to move from the chair without wanting to faint. So we stayed home and did nothing. I felt guilty and I was depressed as there were quite a few things I wanted to go too.

Same thing on Sunday. Had plans to do something. Too sick to do a thing. Just sat in a chair and slept on and off.  However, I decided to once again look up all the side effects of the drug I was taking.  Well I had ever single symptom. Every single one. Weakness, loss of appetite, exhaustion, dizzyness, etc. I decided to immediately take myself off the medication. I knew it. I knew I never should have been on it. However, when you are begging for help, you have to try what they offer or you look non-compliant!

By Sunday night, I was feeling a tad better. On Monday, we had no plans. I felt awful as it was vacation week and not only had we done nothing all weekend, but now we had nothing to do on Monday!!!!  What a way to start vacation. The guilt was awful. 

On Tuesday, I woke up stronger than I had been.  We were going to go to the JFK Library for a show, but I was still way too sick to endure the ride to Boston. I was crushed as I was looking forward to it.  However, I just could not do it. I was trying very, very hard.  Ping did have a 1:00 pm Daisy event that she and her Dad went too. She was able to help put trout fish into the reservoir. She had a great time. The two youngest had their naps then. When the kids got up, we all headed to the library. Ping took a zumba class that she loved and Manny and Yamira played upstairs while I chatted with my friends Rebecca and Stephanie. I was still very weak, but we got there and it was nice to see them. Sadly my concentration was awful. I was still very shaky too.  After zumba and a little play time for Ping, we headed home. I fed the kids and read them a book before bed.

On Wednesday, I woke up weaker than ever. Everything must have just caught up to me. I think I got too far behind the eight ball to recover.  So we stayed home. I tried hard to get some stuff done around here, but I was an utter failure between being weak, not eating and being shaky all over.

On Thursday I was determined to get out with the girls to a tea I had already paid for. The girls and I headed to Millbury for 1:00 pm.  Bill dropped off Manny at Ayi Meri's on his way to school at 2:30.  I picked Manny up at 3:30 pm. He had a great time at Ayi Meri's. We had a wonderful tea. Well let me say this. We met my friend Kirsten and her two beautiful daughters at tea. I was in a complete fog. The tea was upsetting my belly. I couldn't eat without wanting to throw up. I nearly threw up once. I was shaking all over. Kirsten was concerned about my driving and weakness, but I said I thought I would be okay. She even offered to keep the girls for me, but I said I would be okay.  I could not wait to get Manny and get home as I was just absolutely miserable.  Once home, the kids had dinner and a book and went to bed.  I just cried as I was so miserable. Such a mess. So upsetting.

On Friday, we had no plans either.  I didn't make any. Just as well. I did end up making plans, but not for anything fun. I woke up Friday and was determined to change my situation. I called Brighams and spoke to my GI doctor's fellow. She asked me to come to Brighams to be checked for dehydration. So after I got the kids situated, emails written, bills paid and a host of other things done including Bill running to Walmart, I made my way to Brigham's emergency room. Bill didn't want me to drive, but I didn't want him to drive me. I wanted him to stay home with the kids.  I did not have the energy to do anything before leaving, but I was determined to get a few things done just in case they kept me.  Good thing too. I told Bill I would be okay.  So I made a huge electrolyte drink and jumped in the car with my pocketbook, a bag with a container, two soups, utensils, two People magazines and some stuff that I needed to do if they kept me. Stuff like business calls and such.  I then jumped in the car and slowly made my way to Brigham and Womens.  I got out at the ER and gave my car over to valet. I then tried to carry my pocketbook and bag in with great difficulty. I checked in, collapsed on a chair and just bawled. How awful. In fact, I bawled all the way into Boston. Why? Because I was starving and could smell the food at all the restaurants and I could not feed myself. Because I left my family behind and felt alone. Because I was such a mess.

So I check in and they bring me in the bag instantly. It wasn't long before they determined that I was severely dehydrated.  No wonder why I couldn't stand and I was a space shot!  They offered to hydrate and send me on my way or hydrate and keep me.  However, it was the weekend and nothing much would happen. I knew I could not drive home. I was tired. I could not stop crying either. I said that I was willing to be admitted. Very much not my style, but it needed to be done. I needed help and I needed it badly.  So they admitted me after they got some fluids into me. Then I was wheeled up to the 10th floor and into room 12. I then spent the next 11 days there!  What a whirlwind!!!

On Saturday, Shayla had an archery event with the Daisies, but she did not go. It was too much for Bill to take her and drag the two younger ones as well especially since it wasn't an event the younger two could attend. Sometimes they can and sometimes they can't. So Bill would have had to sit in the car or drive around for a few hours. Wasn't far away, but too far to come home and then turn around to go back.  So I told him to skip it. They also had a birthday party to attend to in the afternoon, but I told him to skip that as well. If he wanted to go he could, but it was a lot to manage given that the house was very disrupted with me not being home. The kids were exhausted and confused by everything.  The kids had a nice day at home.  I sat or rather laid in the hospital. Got to know my roommate who was awesome. Esma is a student in Boston. She was there for a few days. We became the best of friends. She is a love. I miss her.  I don't remember what I did that day. No much as it was a Saturday and nothing happens in the hospital on a Saturday. I tried to eat, but kept getting sick. I tried to nap as I was so dizzy and nauseous.  I didn't get to watch TV and I didn't read because I just felt so awful. I could barely lay there limp!!!!

On Sunday, the kids went to Sunday School and then stayed home for the rest of the day. They had to return to school the next day and I wanted them to have a day of rest. The two youngest needed a good nap and Bill needed to make lunch, get out the snacks and study for his tests that he had coming up that week! Shayla had a birthday party that afternoon, but didn't make it. That is very rare. Especially if we say we are going to attend. I felt awful about that, but it slipped my mind that day. I remembered the day before, but not that Sunday. Just as well as it was in the evening and Bill would have had to bring the younger two and just sit there with them. That would have been torture for the kids and for Bill. However, it's too far to return home and then go back. It isn't worth it.  As for me, I was miserable, so I just napped and tried to eat which was an utter failure.  I just was so out of it still. All I could do was manage talking to the nurses and aids.  I was very much looking forward to Monday when I could actually see doctors, including the one I expected to see in the morning as I was breaking out of my room come hell or high water.

I woke up to pouring rain on Monday. I got out of my hospital bed at 7:00 am and got ready. I was busting out. I was going to an 8:00 am appointment with my mysterious new GI doctor if it killed me. His office is in the building next door to the hospital. I say he is mysterious because I have never met him, but he has met me. When I was under for my endoscopy.  Would have liked to meet him. Anyway, he was supposed to be my new GI doctor going forward, so I called on Wednesday to make an appointment to meet with him and to discuss TPN and more testing. That is when his office tells me he will see me in August. WHAT?  I then told them there had to be a communication issue and begged to see him over and over before August due to how sick I was. After pulling teeth, I got this appointment for Monday and because I swore to myself that he was what I needed to get TPN and whatever else I needed, I could not miss this appointment. At the same time, my dear friend Meg was driving down from NH to go with me. However, it took her three hours to get to the hospital due to the awful rain and the traffic.  Needless to say, I never got to my 8:00 am appointment because when I asked the nurse to disconnect me from my IV, she got the resident doctor to come in and talk to me.  He told me that there was no need for me to leave to see Dr. Thompson, the GI doctor.  He said that Dr. Thompson was aware I was in the hospital and that he would come see me. I kept insisting I was just going to go and make the appointment since I fought so hard for it, but he kept saying that he really couldn't have me leave and that the doctor was aware of all that was going on. So I resigned myself back to bed and waited for Meg to come in.  It was just as well that I didn't go as I had also begged for a swallow test and they finally caved and scheduled one for me.  Before I knew it, I was going downstairs for the test. I was thrilled as I had been begging for one for weeks from two GI doctors now. This is a test my GP and my Florida surgeon wanted me to have. So I kept trying to get it scheduled, but kept having issues. However, now I was about to have it and I was thrilled. Drinking the barium drink was horrendous, but I was willing to strip down to no clothes and hang from my toes if it meant I could have the test. So while Meg made her way to me, they wheeled me down for my test. She called me when she arrived and said she would wait for me in my room.  The test was okay. The barium was horrible, but I made it.  Then I went back to my room.  There I was greeted by my sweet friend who was waiting just as she promised. It was so good to see her. We chatted and then went for a walk for some coffee for her. We then went back to the room for a short time. For some reason, I was fighting to stay awake. It was horrible. So Meg took a short walk to the gift shop while I napped. The last thing I want to do while a friend is there is nap, but that is how sick I had been. So Meg came back a short time later with a cute shirt that says "Life is Good" and an adorable pair of pink fuzzy slippers.  So sweet. First the drive and then this. Never mind the support she has given me over the last three years. A year before surgery and two years after now!!! She is a gem. I am so blessed to have her. 

I am not sure what time it was, but a few doctors came in and Meg got to hear what they had to say. This was great for me. First of all it was another set of ears. Secondly, it was just great having Meg listen to some of what I had been saying to them and what they had been saying back!!!!  Anyway, they said that they thought the swallow test went well. I found that a little shocking. However, that changed in the next day or two.  Then the doctors told me they thought most of my issues stemmed from excess bile in my stomach.  The only and I mean the ONLY thing they could offer me was the Ursodiol!  The stuff that makes me so sick!!!!!  I was very resistant. So they said they would like to give it a try while under their care.  So I said that I would. I knew it was going to be awful and sure enough it proved to be. However, again, I am begging for help here. Meg thought it was a good idea too, but both of us thought it was a dreadful idea as well. There were no good answers at this point! 

We waited for a few more doctors to come in as I was told I would be seeing all sorts of doctors that day. However, Meg and I never saw another one that day. That was disappointing. Needless to say, they say a lot and don't follow through often.  You get used to it.  I encouraged Meg to get on the road as it was getting late and she was exhausted. So I walked her downstairs and then headed back to my room.  It had been a long day. Dreary out too. However, having Meg there was wonderful.

The kids went to school and then went to my sweet friend Rebecca's. If it wasn't for her, I would never have been able to stay in the hospital. She totally stepped up to the plate and offered to do anything she could so that I could stay and get treatment. Bill had school and we needed someone from 2:30 pm-9:30 pm.  So Bill got the kids at 11:00 am and fed them and gave them a short nap. Shayla stayed till 3:00 pm and then took the bus home with Rebecca's daughter.  They supposedly did really well.  Rebecca fed them dinner and my awesome friend Kirsten picked Ping up for Daisies and dropped her off after. Ping loves Daisies.  I can not thank these two enough for their help.  Bill picked them up a little after 9:00 pm and brought them home. They were tired chickens.   

That night I got my first Ursodiol dose.

On Tuesday I was supposed to help out at the school. Sadly I couldn't make it. I was also supposed to bring the kids to a piggy bank craft at the library. We could not attend that either. I felt bad, but they didn't know that I signed them up for it, so at least they were not upset.

I got up in the am and decided to shower.  Well guess what? I had a terrible stomach ache all night long. When I went to stand up, my stomach cramped something terrible. Then I had to run to the bathroom. I had to go to the bathroom maybe six times. I was so very sick again. I then tried to shower and almost passed out. I had to go to the bathroom again. I basically collapsed out of the shower and onto the toilet. Finally I walked out of the bathroom with just a towel halfway around me and asked Esma to please call the nurse as I was about to pass out. The nurse and the aides rushed in. Also a surgeon came in. Really? At that exact time? I am gasping for breath, I feel like I am going to pass out and I am naked.  The nurse helps me get dressed and dried off while the woman surgeon asks me question after question.  You know I just wanted her to go away, but ended up being so thrilled she stayed as she was awesome. She listened. When asked why I was so sick, I told her that they insisted that I try the Ursodiol while under their care. She was appalled. She said literally "fight the power. Why are they pushing this drug on you if it makes you sick." I explained it all to her and then she said "Do not worry about this. Do not take it again. I will talk to them about this. I will put this all in the notes. I will tell them I witnessed how sick you are." She seemed disgusted that this is all they would offer me. I wanted to kiss her. She was fantastic. Even Esma on the way out the door said "Excuse me, but you are awesome and the first doctor to listen to her.:"  It was so sweet. Esma was wonderful. When she cried, I hugged her. When I cried, she hugged me. Two strangers brought together in quite a way! It was a tough day as I was so sick, but I was better by evening.

The kids went to Rebecca's again as Bill had school at 2:30 pm.  They were supposedly pretty well behaved. I felt bad that we had to rely on Rebecca. I was truly so sick and needed to get better though.  I knew they were totally loved though, so that was a huge weight off of my shoulders. My kids love going to Rebecca's house. I don't know how the woman does it with that many kids, but she does it. Can you say amazing. Both she and her husband are wonderful people!!!!

I spent the day in the hospital waiting on doctors. I can't even remember who I saw that day.  However, I do know they were still looking at all of my tests and waiting on more doctors to come see me.  At this point my roommate Esma went home. I was so sad.  However, I was happy for her. I did get a beautiful flower arrangement from Ayi Meri and Uncle Joe and Ayi Christina and her husband and awesome son Tristan. They were gorgeous arrangements and a huge pick me up!

Wednesday the 25th came and there I was in the hospital. It was my birthday. Who wants to be in the hospital on their birthday?  Not me. However, it ended up being a great day.  I got a beautiful tea cup of roses from Rebecca, John and family. They were so pretty.  I also got some answers.That was the best present of all. It would seem that some of the tests showed that I had two connections instead of the one they had expected. It seems like my surgery was somehow perhaps "botched?"  I don't believe it was intentional. I mentioned "Short Bowel Syndrome." They were not sure.  In addition, the Director of Metabolic Services came in and immediately looked at me and said that I needed TPN. Finally! It's not like I wanted TPN. It's that I needed TPN.  So they ordered that for me and also asked for a bariatric surgeon to come and meet me.  So they put in for that. Finally I felt like I was getting somewhere and that people were listening to me! Yay.  So that was a wonderful day in general.  In addition to all of that, I had all my levels restored to normal. I had been given potassium, magnesium, folate, A vitamins and sugar.  All of a sudden, I could eat. Things I have not eaten in over two years. Took me over an hour, but I had an omelet for the first ever in my life. I had a small piece of cheese and ham in it and it was heavenly.  So my eating not only was picking up, but was changing. I kept saying for months, to anyone who would listen, that I swore that my poor eating had to do with my levels. Two weeks after having surgery in November, I could no longer eat. I kept saying that it seemed that having my calcium restored to normal had ticked off something else. However, nobody would believe me. I kept saying this to the doctors, but they kept saying that one thing had nothing to do with the other!  All of a sudden my levels are normal and I can eat?  See, I am not as dumb as I look.  It was so nice to taste food!!!!!

All in all, it was a decent day.

I do not remember much about Thursday except that the TPN orders were given and they started drawing a lot of blood work for that. In addition, I kept waiting for the surgeon to come by. That person never came by. I was told he was out of town. He was at the same exact place that Dr. Peraglie was at!!!!  They were both in Barcelona! Figures!!!!!  I did talk to Flo who urged me not to be converted to an RNY and to talk to Dr. Peraglie before I did anything. I told her that I was in no way going to be converted to a RNY and not to worry.  I just wanted to hear what the surgeon had to say and I would absolutely talk to Dr. Peraglie before doing anything.  I also got a new roommate by the name of Diane. She was awesome.  She and her family are so nice. 

Manny and Yamira went to Ayi Meri's house for the afternoon and Ping went to tennis and then with Rebecca to Hannah's dance lesson.  Ping loved being alone with Hannah and Rebecca.  Unfortunately, the two younger ones were not well behaved at Meri's. They were exhausted, short on naps, long on staying out and missing me. Not a good combination.  Daddy picked them up at 9:00 pm or so and then went to get Shayla at Rebecca's. To say everyone was tired would be an understatement!

On Friday, Bill dropped the kids off and then was going to take Yamira to therapy. He blanked and she never got there. I felt bad, but what can you do.  The three kids were home with Bill all day as he had no school. So the two younger ones got in a good nap.

Sarah and Brad came to visit me. They brought me some tee shirts I asked for as I needed something clean to wear and the Johnny and lounge pants from the hospital were not doing it for me. They stayed for a while. It was great to see them.  So grateful for their efforts to come see me.

Diane went home today.  She did the sweetest thing for me. She had her daughter Lindsay give me a manicure before taking her mom home. I was so blown away by her sweetness and damn my nails looked good for a change!!!! So sad to see her go. However, I got a new roommate by the name of Carol. An older woman with an only daughter. Both of them were peaches. How did I get so lucky with such awesome roommates?

My TPN got started tonight too! Yay.

Saturday came and Bill took the kids to Mason's birthday party at the Acton Children's Museum. They had a phenomenal time. I spent the day trying to get things organized in my mind as to what I had to do. I talked with Carol, and basically sat like a zombie as I was exhausted and didn't get any rest the last few nights. Last night was the worst as the TPN made me go to the bathroom every hour on the hour.  That night, Bill brought in the three kids. It was so great to see them. I had missed them horribly. The visit was nice. I put out a fresh blanket to cover the floor and they sat down and had a picnic of sandwiches and drinks.  They were so tired. It was late. They had a busy day with the party and then coming to see me. They had barely slept all week. Manny and Yamira could not stop crawling all over me and telling me how much they missed me and loved me. Ping missed me as well, but she knew I would be home. Being in the hospital just did a number on the two younger ones. I felt awful about it. Bill loved them and took great care of them.  Rebecca and Meri loved them when they were babysitting. So they were loved and fed. They just were overtired and the routine being upset with me not being home just did them in.  The visit was great, but a little overwhelming for me.  Yamira even said to me "why is your head bobbing Mommy?"  I was tired, not feeling 100% up to par, had not eaten and had learned to just manage my small space and dealing with the doctors and nurses. Now these three come in with their energy and it was just a lot for me. I was so grateful to see them and love them, but it was a lot for me.  After a lot of hugging and kissing and Yamira and Manny folding their arms and refusing to leave with out me, they finally left. It was late and they needed to get home and get to bed.  I spent the rest of the night chatting with my roommate and texting on my phone.

Sunday was a fairly quiet day. I hadn't slept at all, so I was exhausted.  I got a surprise visit from Anita. She came and stayed a few hours and that was wonderful. After she left I had some dinner and forced myself to read my People magazine. I really wanted to get it read, but couldn't get myself to concentrate on it. There are just so many interruptions in the hospital. The kids attended Sunday School and laid low for the day at home. Ping had a birthday party that completely slipped my mind. I remembered. I told Bill. However, it slipped my mind that day. So she didn't go. Felt bad about that.  

On Monday, they said I would probably leave. I didn't believe them in the least. I knew it would take too long to get all the TPN stuff together. They were waiting on insurance approval.  Needless to say, I was there for the day. It was quiet at that point.  I wasn't being seen by anyone which was okay. I had desperately wanted to see the surgeon and had asked to see him many times, but they said I could on an outpatient basis.  So I spent the day reading, texting and keeping my area clean.  I will say that I got a new roommate and frankly, I could not wait to get out of there. The poor thing was a mess. She was also mentally challenged, so she yelled all day and night long. It was horrible.  

The kids had a good day. Bill was able to get out of school a little early and got Ping to Daisies.  Rebecca loved the kids and fed them and took wonderful care of them today.  We are so blessed to have Rebecca and her family in our lives.  If she did not take the kids as much as she had, I would not have been able to stay at the hospital and get the treatment I needed. That is huge. I am healthy in large part because of her sacrifice.  So lucky to have her family, just can't say enough.

On Tuesday. they told me they were releasing me. They finally got approval for my TPN at home.  I got showered and dressed and packed my stuff. I left a little after noon. I came straight home, put some stuff away and went out to get the chickens at Rebecca's house. She had them for the afternoon. She offered to feed them for me. What a blessing. I was tired. I haven't slept since TPN started as I have to go to the ladies room ever hour on the hour.  I didn't sleep due to my roommate in the hospital. I was still very shaky and just drove home. So coming home and going back out a short time after was really ideal for me.  Once home, I read to the kids and popped them into bed. It had been a long day.  I then hit the ground running. I stayed up till 4am going through all of the kids school work for the last 11 days and all of the mail. I also started responding to some of the 3300 emails I had. Overwhelming. I wrote thank you notes and bills.  

On Wednesday, I spent the day basically cleaning up my emails and doing a lot of other paperwork.  Bill was home which was great. We started getting back to a normal routine with naps and bed time at the right time.  I could still see the huge decline in Manny and Yamira. It bothered me terribly. I gave the two of them odd jobs around the house which made them feel really helpful.  That was a huge boost for them, but it would take some time before they would bounce back. Not sure how long, but I knew it would be awhile!

On Thursday I spent the day ferrying the kids to and from school. Shayla had tennis, so I picked her up after that. The younger ones took naps and I continued to work on my mountain of paperwork. Bill had school, so I was on my own.

Friday was a busy day. After Bill dropped the kids off at school, he had to go to Norwood to meet with a nurse to have a TB test read for school.  When he got home, he stayed with Manny while I took Yamira to therapy. It was nice spending quality time with just her.  We then did a few errands and came home so that she and Manny could nap. That night we went out to dinner as a family to Tavern on the Common in Rutland. We had a wonderful time. It was so nice to be out as a family and the kids were thrilled.  After dinner we came home and I read a book and we put the kids to bed.

On Saturday we had a busy day.  Shayla and I had tea at the West Boylston Historical House. We had a lovely time. There were sixteen of us. We learned the etiquette of a handshake, how to sit properly, how to put our napkin on our lap, how to handle our tea cup and a host of other things. We were there for almost two hours. After tea, Ping did a craft and we came home. It was nice to be out. The little ones napped wile we were out.  We spent the rest of the night at home.  

On Sunday, Bill brought the kids to Sunday School. We then headed to Lee, New Hampshire to spend the day with my friend Meg and her husband and friends and family. We had tacos and carrot cake and the kids played. It was a beautiful afternoon and the kids had a ball. I loved visiting with Meg and her brood as did Bill!  We then headed home to get the kids to bed.

On Monday, It was Manny's fourth birthday!!!! I had the nurse come and take my blood work for my TPN.  Bill went to school and I got Ping in the afternoon. We all then went to Daisies. I had to bring Yamira and Manny because Bill was taking an exam. I had to be at Daisies because it was a mom and Daisy event. We had a great time.  My friend Renee has a sweet boy by the name of Drew. He took Yamira and Manny to play and Ping and I painted our flower pots.  We then went home for books and bed. 

On Tuesday, Bill took the kids to school and then took Sasha for her lion cut at Petco.  I picked up Manny and Yamira from school and met Ashly and her girls at the library for a play date. My kids didn't deserve to go as they both had horrible days at school. In fact, it was the worst day Yamira has ever had. These two are still so depleted from me being away. We are still getting into the routine again of good naps and me being home.  However, the time away really took it's toll. However, there is no excuse for their bad behavior. Had I not been planning on meeting Ashly, I would not have gone. When I got there, I talked to Yamira, Manny and Sky as she had a bad day too. I told them all that their behavior was unacceptable and that they best get it under control for the next day as well as play at the library really well.  In the afternoon, I got Ping from school and we all stayed home for the rest of the afternoon. Daddy was at school taking some tests and then he went to a small party after.  

Wednesday Bill worked at the station from 6am-6pm.  So I took the kids to school for 8:15 am.  I then ran into my friend Kathleen. We talked for an hour and a half in our cars. It was great to see her.  I then headed home and then back to the school to get Yamira and Manny at 11am.  At 12:30 pm I had a cranial sacral appointment at my house with Pam. That went well.  At 3:00 pm, the three of us jumped in the car, picked up Ping and headed to One Stop Fun.  The kids had a ball. It was very loud in there. Reading was difficult. I could not concentrate at all. I tried to make some important business calls, but it was so loud and there were some very, very obnoxious moms and kids there.  The worst part is that the place was filthy and there was ketchup in some of the tunnels where the kids play and it was all over the bathrooms too. Disgusting. I will not return.  Germs is one thing. It's a kids place. I won't deal with filth though. The kids had ketchup on them. I thought I was going to throw up. I was so disgusted!!!!  Anyway, we headed home for dinner, books and bed. Bill came home and didn't go to training at the fire department as he was exhausted, so Manny finally got to open his gifts. What a good kid for being willing to wait till we could all sit down together.  Loved his stuff.

On Thursday, I had a lovely lunch at the Wexford House with my friend Marghrit. It went too fast. It was so great to see her though. I had a great time.  That afternoon I got a ton of phone calls and computer work done. At 6:30 pm, I headed out for a massage with my favorite lady Molly.  I was home by 8:30 pm. The kids were all tucked in bed. So I just did some stuff at the computer.  

Friday was supposed to bring a doctors appointment, but it was cancelled. So at the last minute last night, I asked my friend Kathleen to lunch. So we met at noon at Special Teas in Northboro. We had a great time catching up on life.  The rest of the afternoon was spent making phone calls and working at the computer. I am still trying desperately to catch up here. I have a few important things brewing and so I have been working on those. That night we had dinner at Ethan's in Jefferson with Meri, Joe and their kids. It was great to see them. We had a lovely time.  

Saturday was very busy.  We got up and I took the two girls to a Mother/Daughter tea at the Bethlehem church in town. I have never been there before. I saw Stephanie with her kids as she was the organizer of the tea. I sat with Rebecca and Hannah. We all had a great time having tea and tea sandwiches.  I then took Ping at 1:30 pm to a birthday party and then Yamira and I went home. Yamira and Manny had a great nap and then the kids all went out to play around 5:00 pm. Ping had a wonderful time at the birthday party.  I had a Tastefully Simple party at 7:00 pm.  So I got ready and headed out to that. DISASTER. The party sucked. I am done doing this. Waste of my time.  

I was contacted by this young lady Jennifer a few weeks ago. We booked for last night. I could tell when we spoke that she was quiet young. At least she seemed it. Things are not always as they seem though. She told me she was once a consultant. So I did some host coaching with her, but I knew that she knew what the food was about, what the party was about, how important it is to get guests and good guests, etc. 

I get to her apartment and she and her girlfriends are all drinking and singing loudly. Okay, no problem. She takes the stuff out of the fridge for me, goes back to the living room and proceeds to visit. Now she should enjoy her guests, but she is the host and should be somewhat helpful to me? So I had to cut all the bread, roll the cheese balls and do a host of other things. Not for nothing, but she just sat and sang and sat and sang. Okay, well everyone is different. 

I could tell when I saw her friends that I was in trouble. However, I have been pleasantly surprised before, so I just decided to go with it. They were in college. They didn’t even bother turning down the music for me. The six women loved the food. In fact, a lot of them were really piggy about it and so I figured well maybe they will at least buy some stuff. Then one girl and I mean girl because she was young, came in 45 minutes late. Said she loved the stuff. Had it before. Proceeded to rip plates of food off the table and put it on her lap. She ordered NOTHING. 

Out of 6 girls, 2 ordered less than $100. The hostess ordered nothing. That is not uncommon, but given that two ordered, I would have thought she would feel a little obligated. Again, she was a consultant at some point. 

They all sat there singing and eating while I sat in the kitchen waiting on them. Finally I said to them very kindly “if anyone has any orders, I am going to go ahead and do them now so that you ladies can enjoy your evening without me hanging around.” I mean come on now!!!! So rude!

At one point they all went out to smoke and left me there in the kitchen. I finally said out the window, “Any other orders ladies?” Four turned to me and said “nope.”

I was bullshit. I didn’t say anything. I just packed up my stuff. I asked Jennifer to come in for a moment to say goodbye and I encouraged outside orders. What was I to say? What I wanted to say was that this was a waste of my time and she should have known a little better for inviting free loaders. Her friend Amanda who is graduating from college this week was one of the ones that bought. She is the one that wants a party and she is having it at Jennifer’s house. I booked it, but I can’t imagine that I will do it. I am too busy and have had too many other priorities to bother with this type of bullshit. Know what I mean? Not worth the gas. Sorry if that sounds awful. 

I stopped to get a sub for Bill and something for me at a small sub shop in Clinton. As I am sitting there, I recognize a gentleman from the tea in the afternoon. Before I know it, I am sitting there talking up a storm with him, his wife and seven year old daughter. We traded emails and numbers and we are going to arrange to play at the playground.  How wonderful is that? A new friend for me and my kids hopefully?  They seem like such a nice couple and their daughter is adorable.  

I spent the rest of the night having a little bite to eat and watching a wonderful movie that I got from the library. I kept passing out, but then I would wake up and watch it. Another night I slept on my chair. I have been to bed once in two weeks. What is my problem?

Now it is Sunday and the day has yet to get really going. The kids all went to Sunday School and had a great time. Later on we are going to a friends and I am very much looking forward to it. It's Mother's Day and it's supposed to be nearly 80 degrees. Hope it is a wonderful day. Looking forward to it.  

 Finally I think I have caught up here. Thanks for hanging in there with me.  Off to post some photos!

Mama Out!!!!!!!! 

Art at school open house.

 

Yamira at St. Vincents with Mommy.

Ready for tea at Asa Waters Mansion.

Molly, Phoebe, Yamira and Ping at tea.

Heading to tea at the West Boylston Historical House.

Me and Meg.

Manny's birthday gifts.

Meri and me at dinner.

Hannah and Ping at tea at the Bethlehem Church.

Catching up before too much time passes

The last thing I need to do is be updating this blog. I have been sitting at my desk for most of my day making phone calls. I have a few emails to write and an important letter. However, I really want to keep up here so that I don't have to spend hours doing it at one time.

It says that the last time I checked in was March 22, 2012, but that isn't an accurate date. I started blogging that day, but finished up on April 2, 2012. So I am going forward from April 3rd.

That was only a week ago, but I can't even remember what I did that day. Oh boy. See why I have this blog? It was Meri's birthday. That I do know. We are celebrating our birthdays together next week or so. Can't wait. I am pretty sure I spent the day doing errands or at home doing some things. Nothing comes to mind as to what I actually truly did that day though.

On Wednesday, I attended a school conference for Manny and for Yamira. I had one right after the other. First was Manny's. He is doing really well. He has come a long way in writing his name and playing with others. Unfortunately I have noticed that he has become a little more angry or frustrated lately. His teacher said that she has noticed it as well too. He doesn't want to listen very well lately. We are not sure if it's because I have been feeling so awful lately and so our routine is off? I feel awful about it. He usually is a fairly good listener. Granted he is three. Both his teacher and I have noticed that he has had to be spoken to a lot more lately though. He is turning four in a month. I am sure things will improve. There has been a lot of stuff going on. I can see him changing right in front of me. He really is becoming a big boy. He is fully potty trained. He has occasional accidents, but does well over all. His teacher is going to start a little sticker chart for him to see if she can break the day down in chunks for him. I think that is a wonderful idea. His teachers are fantastic. Best ever. I have loved them since Ping started with them. They really tune into each child. So I am anxious to see how Manny does going forward. We are nearly at the end of school though. Can't believe it.

Yamira's conference was next. She is doing remarkable. She is a very smart cookie. I have always known this. That is why I get more frustrated with her at times. She knows better, she just doesn't always make the best choices. Anyway, she is doing very well on all fronts. Her behavior has come a really long way. As far as knowing how to write her name, knowing her letters and colors, she is excelling in all of those areas. I walked out of there beaming. She continues to amaze me. So proud of both of my chickens!

After leaving the school, I headed to lunch with Meri, Cari and Katie and their kids. Had lunch at a place I have never been too called Corner Grill. It was nice to get out. I got a salad that did not really work for me, but it was nice to be out for a short time. I then headed home to get the kids up from their nap, Shayla from school and we headed off to a fun play date at the library with Stephanie, Rebecca and Ashly with their kids. It was great to see everyone. What a full day!!!! We then headed home for dinner, books and bed.

On Thursday, I took Manny and Yamira after school to see their biological dad. We hung out at his apartment. They played and had lunch and took a little walk to the local park. We then came home and I put them in for a nap as they were exhausted. We went and got Ping at 4:00 pm as she had tennis. She had a ball. We then did homework, played and had dinner, books and bedtime!

Friday was a busy day. I was really, really sick this day. It took me over an hour and a half to get out of the house. It was a half day at school. Bill and I picked up the kids at 11:10 am and took them to Heberts to have a picture taken with the Easter Bunny. We then headed to Cari-Lynn's house for a fun potluck and Easter egg hunt. We then went home and the kids napped. I passed out on my chair the minute I was home. I woke up feeling so sick with terrible trapped gas. I kept taking stuff, but nothing was working for me. Then I got to Cari's house and ate a little and nearly threw up. By the time I left there, I was so weak and nauseous, I just came home and laid down for two hours. Waste of an afternoon, but I had no choice. I then got up and got everyone in the car and we headed to Ayi Meri's house for a fun Passover dinner. We had a great time. I was able to eat a little. Felt good for the rest of the night for the most part. Great day!!!!

On Saturday, we got up early and headed out to the town's Easter egg hunt. We had a great time. We then did a few local errands and went to Bemis Farms in Spencer for another Easter egg hunt. We then went home and Manny and Yamira napped while Ping did some craft projects and I did some stuff around the house. Everyone had an awesome bath and we read books and then went to bed. Bill and I did some Easter Bunny prep and spent the night watching TV.

Sunday was Easter. It was a great day. We went to Ayi Anita's parents house for a traditional Italian Easter. We had a ball. Sadly, I felt really sick that day too. I had terrible gas and I have no idea what it was from. I barely ate. I was so miserable after about an hour of being there. I was cranky and just sick as can be. We had a wonderful time though and had I been feeling well, it would have been the best ever. Ayi Anita and her parents gave the kids wonderful Easter baskets. I felt so blessed and touched that they did that for our kids. I was overwhelmed with love. We then went to Ayi Sarah and Uncle Brad's house. Sadly we got there very late and missed most of her family which was very upsetting. However, it had been a long day. The kids were exhausted and we got there late. It was still great to see their shoppe and talk with the family members that were there. We then headed home for bed.

Monday started off with a bang. I had to drink two huge vials of barium sulfate. I could barely get through one. I couldn't concentrate on it. I kept doing other things. My throat kept closing up and wouldn't accept it. Finally I called where I was getting a cat scan and they delayed my test by an hour. I decided to just pick up my vials and go straight to the appointment. They were super nice and let me get away with just drinking one vial. Thank god. I then had to go to the lab for a pregnancy test because I was having an endoscopy on Wednesday. The lab never got the paperwork, so I had to sit there for an hour. Finally I got to come home. I was so miserable. So sick. The barium liquid would not stop rushing through me. I was getting weaker and weaker with every time I had to run to the bathroom. It just stunk. I was freezing and weak and had terrible stomach pains. Once home, Bill took off for school and I got a call from Brighams telling me they needed to reschedule my endoscopy. Really? I was incensed. It wasn't their fault, but I had to do so much coordinating to make it on Wednesday that I was devastated. Anyway, the woman said she would call me back after she spoke with the doctor. I ran to get Ping from school and then headed home. While Ping was doing homework and getting ready for Daisies, the woman called me back and told me I had a choice between the 27th or tomorrow. TOMORROW at 9am!!!! So I said I would take tomorrow. I wanted it done and over with. So I called my friend Ashly to see if she would grab Manny and Yamira after school. I called the school to get special permission to drop all three off a few minutes early. I also sent emails and wrote notes. Everyone was so helpful. Ash would take the kids and the most fabulous secretary ever at Major Edwards said I could drop the kids off. I am so lucky to have received this help.

Bill was out of school early which was wonderful as I was running around making arrangements and such in prep for the next day. Bill was able to take Ping to Daisies and pick her up. Thank god for small miracles. Once home from Daisies, it was books and bed.

On Tuesday, we dropped the kids off at 8am and headed to Boston. That was stressful as the ride was traffic filled. They even called to see if I was planning on making it. There was no parking, so Bill threw me at the curb and I dashed off to the endoscopy. Once there they took me right in and got me hooked up. Before I knew it, I was being wheeled in. Everyone was super nice and helpful. I met Dr. Woods who was a sweetie. He asked me if I had my medical license as he was shocked at how well versed I was with my own health. Frankly, I find that scary that more people are not? Regardless, it was a nice compliment. He is a GI fellow. I was asleep a few minutes after that. Before I knew it, they were waking me up and telling me to breathe. That was a very short lived nap. My throat was killing me as I have a cold on top of having this tube down my throat. I got dressed, spoke to the doctor about what he saw and Bill and I raced home. Bill had school and we had to get Yamira and Manny first. Bill walked in the house and walked out. Manny, Yamira and I went to get Ping. Ping had zumba at the library until it was cancelled two seconds before I walked out the door to get her. She was not a happy girl. It was rescheduled till next week. So the four of us went to CVS, the bank and then home. I wasn't technically supposed to be driving, but it's not like I couldn't pick Ping up from school and Bill had school. I didn't feel great, but I was alert enough to drive.

Once home, the kids played and watched a little TV before having dinner. I spent the rest of the night at the computer trying to get caught up on some stuff. Finally I had to sit down around 10:00 pm because my legs were so heavy from all the fluid I had been given from the endoscopy and from the gallbladder surgery I had weeks ago. I am still a mess from that. Very upsetting.

The endoscopy showed some bile. I was given two prescriptions. I am anxious to try them. Not sure if they will work. We have still not figured out what was wrong, but this was a good head start. Stay tuned.

Today I slept in a little. I was exhausted!!!! Since being up I have done a ton of things though. I have sadly had to sit at this darn computer all day long. I have been making business calls all day about court, calling doctors offices, verifying prescriptions, catching up on this blog, calling about insurance issues. I did get a call from my GI doctor regarding my cat scan. Currently things look pretty good, but I have a lot of swelling in my body. We believe it is all due to low Albumin. I am waiting on Brighams to call. I will discuss this with them. I need protein and I need it now. Clearly I do. However, one step at a time. Also my GI said she knew I was going to Boston for things now and that she was thrilled. She wants me well and feels like my issues are over her head. So she will continue to help where she can, but has asked me to continue on with them. Works for me!

I am currently uploading photos and finishing up here. I just want to sit down. However, I feel like I have accomplished nothing today. A lot of circular work. Nothing really done! I hope to get a lot of stuff done tomorrow.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter and that you are healthy and happy.

Mama Out!!!!!!!

Visit with their biological dad.

Easter Bunny at Heberts.

Me and Meri at Cari-Lynn's house.

Passover fun with Ayi Meri.

Passover fun with Ayi Meri.

Town egg hunt.

Dinosaur at Bemis egg hunt.

Easter morning.

Ayi Anita and the kids.

Me and Anita.

Beautiful things at Sarah's shoppe.

How does one catch up at this stage in the game?

It's been a little over two weeks since I have added to this blog. It has been an incredible two weeks of craziness from surgery to a hospitalization. Needless to say, I don't have a lap top and so sitting in front of the computer can be difficult at times. I am going to do my best to catch up on this fairly quickly as I have some packing to do. I am going away alone. Bill will be here all weekend with the kids. I am going to a conference. So I need to get packing. I just didn't want this blog to sit any longer than it already has. It's been weighing on my shoulders. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

So where have we been and what have we been doing? Well the last time I checked in here it was the 6th of March. I had a wonderful lunch with my friend Christine and took the three kids for hair cuts after school.

On Wednesday, I had a wonderful lunch with a fabulous friend of mine. We checked out a little antique shop and then we had lunch. I had soup. I then proceeded to turn green. Sadly the soup and I were not to see eye to eye. So I had to excuse myself to vomit in the bathroom. I felt miserable and it was worse because I was out. I sat down and we finished talking with no problems. My girlfriend said she could see the immediate change from green to pink again. We then had to leave to go get our girls from school. I took Shayla to the library to get her a library card and to pick out 8 new books to read. Unfortunately, when I picked Shayla up at school, I started to feel sick again. So once we got to the library, I had to lay the car seat down. After 15 minutes I told Ping to jump out of the car and make the mad dash into the library. We dashed in and I ran into the ladies room and threw up yet again. After that we were able to pick out our books and head home. Not the most pleasant way to spend a day. However, I have grown somewhat accustomed to this way of life. Sad, but the truth. The rest of the evening was spent at home. I had to mentally prepare for gallbladder surgery the next day.

Bill dropped the kids off at school in the am and then took me to St. Vincent's Hospital for my gallbladder surgery. Everything went fine. I was blown up with so much gas that I could float to Houston, TX, but what can I say? I was out within a few hours. I felt actually pretty good. Sore, but not exhausted like I expected to be. I usually am so tired from the anesthesia. I spoke to my doctor and he said he found 2-3 stones in my "common bile duct." Only about 8% of the population have stones caught in their duct. He crushed them and checked my bariatric surgery connections and said I was fine and I would probably go on to be problem free from here on out. I wasn't so sure though. Even though I had a sick gallbladder, I have always felt that something chemically changed in me after I had my para thyroid surgery in November. However, I was hopeful. In the afternoon, I was released into Ayi Meri's care. Meri brought me home just as Bill was arriving home. Great timing. The kids went upstairs and got ready for bed while I spoke with Miss Beka who was caring for the little ones. I was a bit angry and sad to find out that Yamira and Manny were really badly behaved for Miss Beka. They did things they would never ever dare do with me. Like screaming in her face. I was really disappointed that they chose to behave poorly. Shayla was supposedly helpful and kind. Thank god for that. I had hoped at this stage of the game, the two youngest would try harder. They didn't. So that really saddened me. I don't want poor Beka to have to deal with monsters while I am away. Such a shame, but kids do behave differently when mom's and dad's are not around. It's not abnormal, that is for sure.

Bill took Beka home and Meri left. I then proceeded to catch up with the mail and email and the like.

On Friday, Bill took the kids to school. I puttered around the house. Worked at the computer doing some Tastefully Simple stuff, signed the kids up for some upcoming stuff, paid bill, did a little light housework and all that jazz. I was sore, but feeling pretty good and wide awake which was still shocking. I wanted to have this one day at home as we had a very busy weekend coming up.

Saturday came and Bill was going to take Manny to a birthday party, but Bill didn't feel well and I couldn't drive yet. So Manny didn't make it. Just as well. Given his behavior from Thursday, he really didn't deserve to go. However, he is three and doesn't quite get that consequence yet? At 2:00 pm, we as a family headed over to Mrs. Rebecca and Mr. John's house for a birthday celebration for their little Noah. We had a nice time. The kids had a blast. Unfortunately, I ended up throwing up after eating a little. So disappointing and disheartening. I know it had only been two days, but was hoping that vomiting was behind me.

We left around 5:00 pm because I had a Tastefully Simple party that I had to work that night. The hostess three weeks ago insisted that I didn't cancel her party. She had at least a guaranteed 30 orders. Well I have been around the block once or twice and I have never seen that many orders ever. That and the fact that after three days of her invites going out, everyone had responded they were coming. That never, ever happens. On top of it all, when I called to check in on her and confirm, she told me she ruined the beer bread. How does one ruin beer bread? She said she put butter in the mix. That is fine, we have all done that once or twice. She tossed it. That is only our biggest seller. Very upsetting. Anyway, Bill packed the car and I headed off to pick up Ayi Meri who sweetly offered to attend this party with me so that I didn't have to carry anything. We arrived at Rose's house and brought everything in. Meri was the biggest help ever. This was one tough crowd. First of all, there were not 30 people, never mind 30 orders. I got a whole big 7 orders. That is nothing. On top of it, the crowd was very loud and pretty disrespectful. They kept talking, they kept eating all of the food, the kept saying they didn't like this or that and kept asking questions very loudly and rudely. Not for nothing, but I was trying to recover from surgery and could have used a little compassion. They complained about the pricing too. A lot of them hit up Meri for many things and to be honest, she handled it with grace. I didn't expect anything else. However, she could have passed them to me. She didn't. She rocked and I love her for everything she did for me that night. We packed up and headed out about two hours after the party. We could not wait to get out of there. I dropped Meri off and headed home.

On Sunday, Shayla had a pottery birthday party to attend. I took her to that in the afternoon. She had a blast. She loves doing pottery now. I had a feeling that would happen. Unfortunately, we had to leave early to get to a Daisy event. We rushed over to the event to find that they started the event a few minutes early and we missed 99% of it. I was a bit miffed. It started at 2:30 pm. They said there would be a circle of hands at 3:00 pm. I didn't care to get there early as I had already responded yes to the birthday party. So I purposely got there at 2:45 pm. Unfortunately, I had to circle the lot a few times for parking. When I walked in, it was nearly 2:55 pm and they already were doing the circle. We jumped in 2 seconds before it ended. Not for nothing, but it was supposed to happen at 3:00 pm. However, we made it. I will say that I spoke to a friend that I ran into there and she completely missed it because they started early. She was really pretty angry about it and I don't blame her. She thought she had time to run home to grab something. She did. If they didn't do it early, she would have been there. It was gratifying to have her annoyed too! What can you do? We all do the best we can. So we left there and headed home. It was a busy day to say the least. The rest of the evening contained dinner, books and bed for the little ones.

On Monday, Bill had the day off because he was on vacation. Bill took the kids to school for me. I can't for the life of me remember what I did that day. I believe I did a few things at home. I know that I didn't sit and watch TV or read like I had told myself I would. In fact, I swear we did errands that day. However, I truly can't remember.

On Tuesday, I worked at the school for two hours. I then went to the library to meet Miss Ashly and the girls. We only had an hour to catch up. Not nearly enough time. I then went home, put the kids in for a nap and caught up on some stuff at the house. After Bill got Shayla and the kids had dinner, we headed out to Pump It Up for our fifth birthday invite there. God I hate that place. I know the kids love it. I see why people have parties there. I hate it though. I think it's because we go all the time. I need some variety. I dropped the kids off with Bill and went to Wegmens for fruit. I also went to Michaels to return something. When I got back, they were all eating pizza. We then headed home.

On Wednesday, Bill dropped off the kids and I had a hair appointment. We then did a bunch of errands together. After getting Manny and Yamira we did a few more errands before heading home for lunch and naps. Bill got Shayla from school in the afternoon and then there was homework, play time and dinner. Bill had the fire department that night, so I put the kids to bed after giving them all a bath. At some point today, I noticed I had a lot of swelling in my legs. It was really bothersome. I decided to give it another day or so before I addressed it. After all, I had just had surgery. I was in fact still throwing up as well. I did not throw up on this day, but I did throw up in the beginning of the week. I still was nauseous and had the interior chills! Very upsetting!

Thursday was a 1/2 a day at school for Shayla. So at 11:15 am, Bill picked them all up. Once home, we gave them lunch and Shayla changed for her big Daisy outing. Mrs. Kirsten and Miss Molly came over to the house and we all piled into my car and headed off to tea at the American Girl Doll store in Natick. We had a great time. Shayla was the only one without a doll. She carried her stuffed dragon. Of course we get there and she has changed her mind and wants a doll. Shocking. The girls got a tour and then they made a craft. We then all sat and had tea. The food wasn't thrilling to any of the girls it seemed. They seemed to like the sweets. However, not as much as I thought they would. We ended up taking home a bunch of sandwiches which I gave to Yamira and Manny. They loved them. I have always wanted to go to the American Girl Store, so I was so happy I could attend with the group. The girls were so beautifully behaved. I was so proud of them. After dinner, we put everyone to bed. It had been a long day.

On Friday morning, I had a Groupon for a mani/pedi that absolutely needed to be used. So I ran off to that for 10:00 am. I decided to have the Shellac done on my nails. I like it. It looks good. The pedicure was great. The mani/pedi girl was a sweetie and did a great job. Unfortunately, I could not get Yamira to therapy as I did not get out in time, so Bill had to take her. It's okay, it's usually me. I like to take her for consistency sake if nothing else. Bill and I met back at the house and stayed in for the rest of the day doing some stuff around the house. He was on school vacation all week. It was so nice to have him home. My legs were a horrendous mess. To the point I didn't think I should be getting a pedi, but I had to use the Groupon as it was expiring. I called my doctor who told the nurse to call in a prescription for Lasix. I told them that it wasn't edema, but she had no desire to listen. I felt very let down. I picked up the prescription and took it. It did nothing to help me. I suspected it would not. Finally that night I sat down and elevated my legs. I had not been elevating them at all, so they were just getting worse and worse. I could barely walk up the stairs. I was so distraught!

On Saturday we had plans to go to Miss Christine's house to have lunch and visit with her and Mason. She prepared an awesome St. Patrick's Day lunch of meatloaf, potatoes and veggies. I am happy to say that I had a little of it all. It was great. The kids did some Easter crafts and then they played and watched a movie. Christine took out all of her card making supplied and I learned how to make a few cards. I had a great time. Unfortunately, I was very teary and emotional. I tried to keep it at bay, but I couldn't help it. Being sick is wearing on me. By the time we left, I could barely put a foot in the car as it was so heavy. I bawled hysterically all the way home. When I got home, I went to my office and called the "on call doctor in surgery." She was very dismissive. She had no desire to discuss my horrendous swelling. She told me she could not diagnose me over the phone and to go to the ER. I knew that going to the ER would be a waste of time. She said I could possibly have a blood clot. I knew I didn't. However, she had no desire to actually hear what I had to share of my experience. So after crying hysterically to Ayi Meri, she jumped in the car and came and got me and took me to St. Vincent's Hospital ER in Worcester. What an absolute nightmare never to be repeated again. I will never, ever go to that hospital again for the ER. I was there till Monday. Poor treatment all around.

Okay, I left off before I went to Florida. I am now back and determined to get caught up if it's the last thing I do today!!!!

So on Sunday and Monday I was in the hospital being treated very poorly. The ultrasound they were supposed to have me do was never scheduled. It finally was done close to 6:00 pm. It could have been done at 8:00 am per the tech that was there all day. The GI consult and swallow test was never done. I was told if I stayed over night, they would all come see me and have all the tests run on Monday. Monday at 10:00 am, I am told that I can do this all outpatient and I was to go home. I was so beside myself. I was sick, exhausted and hungry. On top of that I wasted my time and my family was stuck home fending for themselves. So unbelievable.

After Bill picked up the kids, he came and got me at the hospital. We did a few quick errands and then it was home to shower for me, naps for the kids and school for Bill. Then it was time to get Shayla and do homework. I fed the kids and then Shayla went to Daisises. Thank god Bill for some reason didn't have a second class this night, so he was able to get Shayla from Daisies. I could not put one foot in front of the other from exhaustion, so this was a huge help!!!!

Tuesday, was spent cleaning the house, making calls and catching up on all the things I didn't get done here while I was being wined and dined in the hospital. Also spoke with GI doctor's office about various tests getting scheduled. It was just nice to be home. I was still a complete zombie though. I had not slept at all while I was in the hospital.

On Wednesday I spent the day cleaning the house as well, getting things done for Bill, the kids, paying bills, making appointments and all that jazz. Leaving for Florida on Friday, so needed to have everything done before I left. That evening I attended a seminar on parenting. It was a great seminar. I didn't learn much because I a lot of it talked about parents who cave into what their kids want. My problem is that I never cave. I hate that I am such a stickler. I wish I wasn't. I wish I could back off. I hope to be a better parent when I feel better. Right now I am just always so sick, that I don't have the patience required when you have three small children. I try every day, but I do fail at least once a day. The seminar was great though as the woman teaching it was very funny. It was worth attending and I went with two friends.

On Thursday, I got up early and headed to my primary care doctor. I was told that I really should see her regarding the 15 lbs of fluid I have stuck in my body since having gallbladder surgery. Honestly, I never give my doctor any credit for being helpful as she is an hour away from me and knows none of the doctors I use. Well I found out today that she is worth more than I gave her initial credit for. She wasn't supportive when I told her I was going out of town to have bariatric surgery. She thought it was absurd. She did not understand why I didn't want the standard surgery provided her in Massachusetts. So she has never backed me up. Regardless, she is still my primary care. When she saw the initial weight loss she was was so stunned and happy for me. I see her now and then for various things, but for the most part, we don't discuss any surgery stuff as she isn't the one that follows me. I have my GI doctor follow me as she was the only one willing too after I begged her repeatedly and checked out all the local hospitals at her request and then still decided to go to Florida! So she backed me, but not happily. Basically she was willing to draw my labs, but wanted zero responsibility in the results.

Anyway, my primary was fantastic. She is very concerned about the 15 lbs of fluid I have developed. She believes it's all due to malnutrition. My Albumin in low. That is a protein level. If you don't have enough protein in your body, your body does not hold fluids and pump them properly. So my fluid has gone into what they call "third spacing." This is primary what Bill and I thought was happening. Dr. Kim agreed. She was very concerned about the throwing up, nausea and the interior chills I have been having. She doesn't understand the hesitancy on the part of my GI to do the swallow test. So she told me that the first thing I needed to do was find a doctor that specialized in nutrition. Not a dietitian, but a doctor that specializes in this. She also told me she wanted me to have a CAT scan and to get the swallow test done so we could see if there was anything anatomically wrong with me. I was there for over an hour with her. I could not believe how much time she dedicated to me. I was very pleasantly surprised. The visit went great.

Once I finished up at my doctors office, I flew home to start packing for my early morning trip. The van was coming at 3:30 am and I needed to be ready to go. Bill had school, so I had to pack and take care of the kids and do all the last minute prep stuff. Less than fun! It all got done though. It had too!

I never ended up going to bed. I did crawl upstairs at 1:00 am and laid down next to my suitcase and set three alarms. I could only rest till 2:00 am though as I had to shower and finish packing. To say I was tired would be a mild understatement!!! The van was right on time. Bill carried my suitcase downstairs, but passed out on the couch and didn't say goodbye to me. Oh well. Off I went down the highway. We made a quick stop in Shrewsbury to pick up a couple going to visit their son in Johannesburg. Needless to day I talked their ears off. I was fascinated by them. I got to the airport three hours early. I told them I didn't want that, but they said that they had to pick me up at 3:30 am. I have to say that I like to get to the airport early, but not that damn early!!!! So I sat and read my magazines until it was time to board. That and people watched. Everyone was walking around with something delish in their hands. I was starving, but so afraid to eat a thing. I didn't want to risk being sick.

We boarded on time and had an easy flight. Once I got to Florida, I jumped on a van and went and got my rental car. That was easy peasy. I got a little white Nissan. I got directions to where I was going and off I drove. It was a two hour drive to Avon Park. That was a drag. I was exhausted and hungry, but determined to get there. Once there I ran into two of the ladies attending the conference in the parking lot. We all checked in and met in the dining room for a salad. We ran into another couple there and all sat to have lunch. Needless to say the salad and I didn't get along. So I tried not to throw up while we were running out the door for Walmart. We needed a few supplies. Once we got what we needed, we threw our stuff in the room and greeted some of the others that had arrived. First I made a teary call to my friend Meg. I was so upset because I was there alone in Florida and I couldn't find anything really at Walmart to eat and when I try to explain to people how sick I am, they don't get it. They think it's all MGB related and so they try to share with me what has worked for them. However, this is different. I am sick and we don't know why. I just felt all alone. So I reached out to Meg. Once I got off the phone, I went to the lobby to see what the scoop was for dinner. Well dinner was pizza in. That to me could not have been a worse choice. People who have had bariatric surgery should not have bread, pasta, rice or anything bready and they wanted to order pizza? I came all the way from Massachusetts for pizza at the hotel. Even if I could eat it, I wouldn't eat it because I can't seem to eat much of anything due to throwing up and all that jazz. So another MGBer Carol and her friend Cathy said they would love to go out to dinner. So we jumped in my rental and headed down the street. We stopped at a place called Cowboys. It was horrible. They only had iceberg salads for me. The ladies were able to eat and they were fairly happy. The food was awful, but the company was divine. I love Cathy and Carol. Some beautiful ladies both on the outside and the inside. They were so loving and caring. I was so grateful to them for going out with me. I stopped next door and grabbed a soup for later and we headed back to the hotel where we all sat on the veranda and chatted up a storm. At that point, there were a lot more people. It was good to see them all.

Once back at the room, I tried to have a little bit of a Lunchable that I was told to buy earlier when we were at Walmart. The ladies felt it would be good for me to try. Biggest mistake ever. I ended up throwing up alone in my hotel room for two hours. There I was alone, throwing up, shaking all over and my stomach was burning. I was scared and normally I am not scared when I throw up. I throw up and it's done. It is over and I feel fine usually. This was pretty violent. On top of that, the room had a horrendous perfume smell in it and I could not escape it at all. To make matters even worse was that there was music blaring from the bar across the street. I just wanted to die. Seriously. I just wanted to die. I finally passed out after 2:00 am.

I barely slept all night long between the noise and the horrible smell. On top of that, I was at the front of the hotel and could literally hear every single car that went by. That is unusual for me. It was not a good situation. I jumped up and got ready and headed down to the seminar. I didn't care about breakfast as I don't eat breakfast. I walked into the seminar a little later than I meant too, but it was okay. I sat down and listened to two women discuss their tummy tucks after their weight loss. I have no desire to do that, so I really had no desire to listen to them. I like both women very much, but having that type of surgery doesn't interest me. In addition, I think if someone is going to discuss plastic surgery, it should be a surgeon. I want to hear from those that have had surgery too, but I would want to ask questions from a surgical standpoint! Shortly after that segment, we moved on to discussing supplements. This was led by one of the organizers. She shared what works for her and the important of supplementation and protein shakes and shots. We were able to try a variety of protein drinks. Sadly I was still really miserable from the night before. My belly was killing me, so I avoided trying anything. Then for lunch we were on our own. So my friend Bonnie and Lia and I took a walk over to the craft fair across the street. Bonnie could only join us for a short bit. She then went to help out with some scrap booking. Lia and I walked on and tried to decide what to do for lunch. I had no desire to eat, but Lia did. More importantly, Lia really wanted me to eat and was willing to try anything. Can I just say how much I love that woman. Sweet heart. A true love. So I figured I would give it a whirl. We came to a tent with a group of Jamaican women. We decided on potato salad, stir fry veggies and ribs. We were going to do grilled chicken, but it looked dry. So I said to Lia, can we try the ribs? I asked if we could split the plate as I could not eat all that food. I might not be able to eat it at all. So it cost us $4.00. We sat down in the breakfast room in the hotel and split our plate. I had a lovely time. I had ribs for the first time in my life. The kind on the bone. I kept trying to take the meat off with a plastic fork. Lia said to put the stuff down, pick up the ribs and just make a mess. I have never done that before. The ribs were low on meat, but high on flavor. I loved them and did really well with the food. I was so pleased. The company was far better than than the food. It was a nice time sharing our food and our lives.

Once we were done eating, we headed back to the seminar where we discussed food addiction and then diet and exercise. Not for nothing as the ladies giving these segments are wonderful, but I can barely eat. So I did not need to discuss food addictions. I know all about food addictions anyway as I had them before the MGB, hence having the MGB. I am grateful I can't currently succumb to them. On the other hand, the way I am eating now and feeling now is horrendous. So I don't like where I am at all.

As far as discussing exercise and diets, I know all about them. I have lived them my entire life. I have always exercised. I don't need to learn about Zumba, swimming and walking. However, it was a good segment and probably necessary to hear for the other attendees.

During the day we found out what our dinner was to be that night. Everyone was supposed to take $5.00 and head out to the nearest place you wanted to go and purchase food to share. You could go to Subway and get a big sub or Walmart for salad fixings. A lot of people hated that idea. If they didn't want to go, they could give $5.00 to a team member who would go out and shop for them. Only a few people were interested. So at some point almost everyone decided they wanted Chinese food. Another big no no for an MGBer with a weight issue. I did not want Chinese food. Again, I can barely eat, so Chinese was not the way to go!!! So after talking with some others, we decided to go out to Ruby Tuesdays at 6:30 pm. Personally, I think every meal should be scheduled out. A restaurant should be reserved for every dinner. Not just because we are all brought together by a common weight loss took, but due to many dietary restrictions. I don't care if we were at a convention for cameras or couches. So many people can't eat certain things, so we should be at a restaurant so someone can have a salad, soup, shrimp, chicken, beef or just veggies. The fact that we are a group that have weight issues, I especially think this is very, very important. Additionally, most people that attend this conference are from Florida and if they aren't, they are snowbirds and are there for the winter. So they have 1-3 hours to drive. I have to get a van to take me to the airport which is expensive, take a flight, get a rental and pay for the hotel and everything else. So if I cam going to put for the effort and expense, I want to be able to try and eat out and eat something that I can actually have!

We made reservations only to find out when we got there that they didn't have our reservation. So we had to wait they said approx. 35 minutes. We waited nearly 1 and 1/2 hours. So disgusted by that. We were starving too. They said that the managers don't check online reservations at 5:00 pm at night. Really? How can you do that without saying something online like "Hey, call us if you are booking a reservation after 5:00 pm." We finally sat down and ate. Food was great. I got the grilled shrimp. I never order grilled shrimp. I did well with it. I was thrilled. Once done, we headed back to the hotel and connected with all of the others. We all sat on the veranda and chatted the night away. It was a wonderful night. I love my MGB family. They are wonderful. I finally went to bed somewhere around 2:00 am. Actually I attempted to go to bed. I never slept again. At this point I was an overtired wreck!

I got up and got dressed on Sunday and headed out to the local restaurant to have lunch with everyone and Dr. Peraglie. Lunch was great. Dr. Peraglie actually cornered me and wanted to talk immediately. I felt awful about that. Everyone was there to see him. He was not there for me. However, he said that I was the only one that was sick and therefore he wanted to talk to me. We actually talked for quite some time. I had a hard time concentrating because his beautiful son wanted his attention. In addition, I felt so bad because like I said, others were there to see him. We decided a course of action. He wants me to do the swallow test/upper GI and also a CAT scan. So he has asked me to call my GI doctor the minute I return. Once we finished talking, I sat down to have lunch. It was great, but at that point I felt like I was rushing, so I didn't get to eat much. Right after lunch, everyone dispersed for their drive home. I headed out to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Bealls. I also got a diet lemonade on the way back to the hotel. Once I got back to the hotel, I grabbed some stuff that needed to go back to Walmart and then I went back to the room to pack. Sadly, I didn't get to enjoy the day in the sun like I really, really wanted to do. After packing, I had a little dinner. I felt awful after. I didn't throw up, but I was so full of trapped gas, I could literally not even take my evening medication. I laid down and tried to sleep. I didn't sleep at all. I heard every car going by. It was an awful night. I was up and out of bed by 5:00 am. I took a quick shower, threw my stuff in the rental with great difficulty and headed to the airport. A nice and long two hour ride. I don't mind driving or long rides, but it's pretty stressful when you are trying to find the airport and there are tons of airport signs. I find Florida to be pretty difficult due to that. I finally pulled into a gas station and then had to sort of make my way to the car rental place. Thank god I found the place. I was afraid I would have a stroke if I didn't. I dropped off the car, jumped in the van and headed to the airport. An hour later I boarded the plane for Boston. Once home I grabbed the van and headed to two different towns to drop off other passengers. I didn't get home for two hours. I then dropped my stuff and grabbed the kids from Rebecca's house. I was frazzled, overtired, hungry and a host of other things by the time I got to her house. I felt awful. I had to still do homework with Ping and get her to Daisies. It was a long day.

In addition to the above, I came home to find out that I didn't win the case against the videographer that never finished the DVD and that we didn't win an appeal on an unemployment issue. I was just devastated. So that did not help in the least.

On Tuesday, Bill took my car to have the water pump replaced and I went to the school to volunteer. However, since they had MCAS testing, I didn't need to be there. Wish I had known that before jumping out of bed. It worked out though as I had a ton of errands to do. So off to Wegmens and a bunch of other places I went! I then picked up Yamira and Manny and brought them home for lunch and a nap. I spent the day making a bunch of phone calls, cleaning the very messy house from the weekend and doing a host of other things. So glad to be home, but felt really overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done. Bill had school, so I got Ping and we did homework and then the kids played. Dinner and books followed and then bedtime.

Wednesday I got up early as I had a cranial sacral appointment here for 9:30 am. That went well. I didn't feel more balance after and usually I do. That was disappointing. Not sure why I didn't feel more balanced. May be due to having so many stomach issues. I spent the day doing a little more cleaning and making important calls to doctors. I found a doctor of nutrition and got that appointment booked. I was feeling hopeful. We caught up on homework and girl scout homework and a few other things. I felt a little less overwhelmed. Bill had the fire department, so I was on my own for books and bed. I am used to it, but still fighting extreme exhaustion.

On Thursday, I met my sweet friend Christine for lunch. I had left me jacket at her house on St. Patrick's Day and I was desperate for it. So we met at the British Beer Restaurant. I ordered Shepard's Pie. It was delish and I did well with it. We had a nice lunch. It was so good to see her. I then headed home as Bill had school. Once home I woke up the little ones and we went to get Ping at school. We then headed to the JCC for a play date with our friend Cari-Lynn and Meri. The kids had a blast. I had a nice time chatting with the ladies, but was super cold the entire time. We then left because we all had to get home to do homework and to have dinner. It was a great day though as I got to see some of my favorite people.

On Friday, I had a 9:20 am appointment at St. Vincent's. I woke up for it, but fell back asleep. So I have to say that I missed the appointment. I didn't miss it, I just could not make it in time if I was to shower. I was meeting with the Nurse Practitioner that I knew wasn't going to be able to help me anyway. Regardless I was mad at myself for oversleeping and not making my appointment. I did get up and shower though as I had a 3:00 pm appointment at Brigham and Women's to meet with the Director of Nutrition. That went well. That went really well. Finally I have a team!!!! The woman was wonderful. She is going to get me set up with everything I need. They are used to seeing a lot of people that have had bariatric surgery. They are used to seeing a lot of surgeries that have gone bad. More importantly, there are Endocronologists, GI docs, nutrition doctors and more. I don't have to coordinate my care anymore. Thank god as it's been so darn exhausting to coordinate my care. There has been no coordination no matter how hard I have tried. Finally I am going to be with people that really know what they are doing. At least that is the promise I received. Unfortunately this doctor was going out of town on vacation. What is a week though? I have waiting for over six month!!! I can wait a week. In the meantime, I am firing all of my people. I told her that both my primary care and Dr. Peraglie my surgeon thinks that I may need to do TPN. Actually my GI doctor got on the phone with me yesterday and she said she was very concerned and thought maybe I needed to do TPN too. Where has she been when I have told her how sick I have been for 6 months? The fact that I am so low on Albumin is not news. The gallbladder surgery put me way over the edge. My body could not handle the flushing of fluids. Unfortunately I am now stuck with 15 lbs of fluid in my legs. So not only do I feel horrendous, but I look horrendous and can barely walk. It's devastating. My primary doctor told me that I was literally a chronically ill patient at this point. It actually felt great and validating to hear that. I have been so sick for so long, I can't stand it. It's so upsetting, devastating, unrelenting, inconvenient, painful, emotionally draining and so on and so forth. If you don't know what TPN is, it's nutrition through a tube in your arm. It's awful. However, my primary and now my GI doctor are concerned I am behind the 8 ball. Well I have been for some time. It is not like I haven't been telling them my concerns. Anyway, this doctor of nutrition said to hold off on the TPN for now. I would be happy too. On the other hand, I want to get rid of this horrific swelling. I just don't know what to do. The doctor I saw at Brighams said that she felt that we could get things straightened out, but we needed to look at the swallow test first. Just to hold on tight and eat when I can. So that is what I set out to do. I drove home feeling really good about the appointment.

I did not feel so great about being on Route 9 at 5:00 pm, but that is okay. I made it home in a decent amount of time. The rest of the night was spent getting the kids dinner, baths and beds. I then did a few things at my desk and sat down to watch a little TV. That felt good. I felt guilty as I had things to do, but it was nice to sit. I am so behind on movies and that sort of thing. I thought I would catch up, but passed out at some point.

On Saturday we had plans at 10:00 am to do an Easter Egg Hunt in town, but due to the weather, it was postponed. We were then going to take the kids to another Easter Egg Hunt, but to be honest, Manny and Yamira have been so poorly behaved. So I told Bill we were doing errands and that they didn't deserve to go. It hurt me more than it hurt them. I hated doing that. However, we had plans for Dragon Night at WPI and they really needed a small nap before we headed out to that. So we went to the library, post office, CVS, bank, Wegmens, Panera, Bed, Bath and Beyond and then Pier One before heading home for a nap. I brought sandwiches so the kids could eat in the car. At 5:00, we got the kids all dolled up and headed out to WPI for our big night out. The performances were great. We had a wonderful time. In addition, the kids were all beautifully behaved. I was thrilled.

On Sunday, Bill took the kids to Sunday School. The minute they got home, we jumped in the car and headed to Sterling for an Easter Egg Hunt. We then headed home so the two little ones could have a nap. At 2:30 pm we headed out to Coco Keys in Fitchburg for a Daisy event. The Daisy troop sold so many boxes, they earned a free trip to Coco Keys. We have always wanted to go, so we went as a family. We had a nice time, but it was an exhausting weekend and I could not wait to get home. That and Manny and Yamira really were not behaving well. They were doing things they were not supposed to do and not minding Bill and I. We had really had enough. So we left to head home at 6:00 pm. Once home I read the kids a book and tucked them into bed. They were exhausted. I then did a few things at my desk and then sat down to watch a little TV. I kept trying to watch "Black Swan." I was so determined to watch it that I watched a little, fell asleep, woke up to watch and then would pass out. I did this till 4:00 am! The movie was horrible, so why did I waste my time and precious rest? The things I do!

Today was a good day. I feel like I got a lot done. I had an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner, the one that I didn't make it to on Friday. Waste of time, just as predicted. She couldn't help me at all. She didn't see the issue with the 15 lbs of fluid. She was not sure what was going on at all. However, she thought it could be due to low Albumin when I mentioned it to her. Um, thanks for nothing. I basically put on my coat, thanked her for her time and got the hell out of there. I am sick and tired of St. Vincents. Nobody seems to know what they are doing there. It's very upsetting, maddening, sad, confusing and a big old fat waste of my time. Once I left there, I went to radiology to pick up my barium drink for my swallow test next week. That makes me sick to think about, but it needs to be done.

Once I left St. Vincents, I headed to Lucky's Cafe. I have never been there. Small little place. I met my friend Audra. I haven't seen her in ages. It was great to catch up with her. I had a soup and a little salad and then headed home to the kids. Bill had school. Ping did homework and then I brought her to Daisies. Before I knew it, I had to pick her up and then it was home for a book and bedtime. Since them I have been here updating my blog and putting some pictures on Facebook.

Okay, I so have to get off of this blog. I have so much to do. I love updating it, but I was so far behind. I feel like I rushed and just threw stuff up there. I am sure I missed major details. It's just so late at this hour It's getting close to 11:00 pm and while I am sitting, I am not doing anything mindless and would very much like to a this point. So off to put a few pictures up and then try to update sooner rather than later? Yeah, right.

Thanks for you time. Thanks for following my story and sending well wishes. I have never needed them so much since losing my parents!!!!

Mama Out!!!!!!!!!!!

Noah's birthday party.

Bill and gorgeous T.

Beautiful girls!

Elizabeth's birthday party.

Daisy Circle.

Daisy ceremony.

Ping and her new library card.

Lunch with Christine.

Ready for tea.

Such a lady.

American Girl Doll.

Tea at American Girl Doll.


St. Patrick's Day lunch with Christine and Mason.

Yum.

Friends.

Lia and Frank at MGB conference.

Carol and Kathy.

Dr. Peraglie, Bonnie, me and Flo.

Silly tunnel girl.

Dragon night.

A star.

Beautiful.

Fashion show.

Gorgeous girls.

Easter Egg Hunt.

Easter blow up bunny.

Coco Keys.