Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Flu shot fun

Bill and Olivia have had the flu shot. Ping will get hers when they restock her pediatrician's supply. I needed to still get mine though. I called to cancel an appointment today and asked about the flu clinic dates. There happened to be one tonight, so I decided to go and get it. I thought there would be a line, but there wasn't at all. I was in and out. Bill actually drove me and parked right outside. Ping insisted on going in with me, so the two of us went in and back out in 15 minutes. This is the second year I have gotten my flu shot. It's because Ping picks up everything from school. I don't want to risk it like I use to.

Today was an okay day. I started the day of with my social worker coming to the house to check on Olivia. She hasn't been here since Olivia has. She thought Olivia looked like a happy baby. I tried to discuss her leaving, but I seriously didn't have my emotions under control and so I told her I could not discuss it. I wasn't sure when Olivia was leaving, but I assumed it was Thursday or Friday. She said she would have O's social worker call me with the day. She called this afternoon and said it was going to be at 9:00 am on Friday. I spent an hour or so after the call gathering up all of the toys, clothes and food that we had for Olivia and put them all in the corner so they will be ready to go.

I woke up with the worst headache this morning and couldn't shake it. After putting O's stuff together, I took a few more Tylenol and sat down and closed my eyes for a little while. Olivia was sleeping and Ping was coloring. I still have my cold. My voice is still off as well. I am sure I will get over this all soon. The coughing has begun and that is a true bugger.

When Bill got home, he and Ping had a snack and we all headed out for me to have the flu shot. After having dinner we read a book and put the girls to sleep. I fell asleep for a short time, but then came downstairs.

I am seriously dreading the next 2 days, but it's going to happen no matter how much I dig my feet into the ground. I keep telling Bill that I am thinking about the positives in Olivia going. Ping will no longer tell us that we can't put O in the car until she is in and buckled. That is frustrating. I no longer will have to tell Ping that she can't have the toy that the baby has and then watch her fall apart because I said she couldn't have the toy. Bill said that he won't miss the really messy diapers. You know, he has had to change maybe two of them? All in all, no matter how much I try to look on the bright side, I am totally kidding myself. We love her, dirty diapers and all and would be so blessed to keep her. She is a happy and beautiful baby and we are going to miss her terribly.

Hope your corner of the world is going well my friends.

Mama Out!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Where is my energy?

I have been dragging all day long and I have no idea why. I have a few things I thought I was going to do today and I have done none of them. Very irritating to say the least.

After picking Ping up at school, we came back to the house because Olivia had an 11:30 Early Intervention session. It was very short, but went well. The woman said that the baby she saw today was barely recognizable from when she saw her before because she has made such progress. Ping was a little off the wall while the therapist was here. Ping really wanted attention today and she was literally trying to sit on the therapists lap so that she couldn't work with the baby. I love Ping like crazy, but her behavior was pretty awful. I got her distracted by doing a few projects. Later in the afternoon, Ping wanted the toy the baby had and when I told her that she couldn't have it, she got this drum thing we were given and she banged on it like crazy. I pretended not to notice. She kept looking at me to see if I was paying attention. I was. How could I not. The neighbors could hear the noise. Finally after 20 minutes, I calmly walked over and picked up the drum and the sticks and put them away. Ping started to cry. I took her by the hand to the stairs and pointed upward and told her to go until she could behave herself. She was so upset. I felt awful, but she needs to learn that she can't have what the baby has. That she needs to share. That she needs to be kind. Ping is usually wonderful and she has been really good with Olivia, but some days she has her moments. So Ping went upstairs. After 20 minutes had passed, I put O down for a nap. Ping greeted me at the top of the stairs and said "I'll behave now Mama." So after laying down O, we came downstairs and cuddled on the chair for a short time. Before I knew it, we had to get ready to get to her skating class. I woke up the baby, put her in her car seat, grabbed our stuff and ran out the door. Ping is loving her lessons. I haven't seen a huge improvement yet, but she is having fun.

Bill had to go to the fire department tonight. Around 8:00 pm, I got both girls ready for bed. Ping and I picked out her clothes for tomorrow and then I read a book. They were fast asleep within 15 minutes or so.

I have not heard about when Olivia is moving. It's like a slow death. It's only Tuesday though.

Mama Out!!!!!

Monday, September 28, 2009

So depressed

After taking Ping to school, I sat down to tackle a project I hate. It's sorting through all the pictures I recently ordered so that I can put them in photo albums. Well something happened because 115 pictures were green. I had to order them again this evening. So now I have to wait for those before I can finish the project.

I also placed many calls to DCF today. I was able to talk with my social worker and they have found a place for Olivia. I am not sure where, but someone who will be able to take her for the duration of her time in the system. I know I could transfer to the foster care department and keep Olivia, but for what? So we can say goodbye in 6 months or a year? It's a terrible decision and one that I wished was never thrust upon us. Olivia has been with us for 5 1/2 weeks and I could not love her any more than if she was my own. She has grown so much and come so far. When Bill comes in the house, she lights up now. She smiles for me nearly constantly. She is now loving the exersaucer too. I feel used and abused. We decided that this was it. We will not take another child unless it is truly preadoptive! It's too hard for us.

I sat down with Ping today and told her that Olivia was probably moving on to another home this week. I was worried how she would feel. I said to Ping "How do you feel about that honey?" She says, "That is just perfect Mama." So I said "Sweety, what is perfect?" Clearly she is not listening to me and thinks I am saying something else. Ping replies "It is perfect that Olivia is going home Mama." I know in reality, she will miss her terribly. She misses Kaylee and we only had her a week. She asks about her all the time. I had to laugh at what Ping said though. I have been really sad since yesterday. I knew the day was coming, but I was trying to pretend it wasn't.

Wish us luck as we transition from a family of 4 back to a family of 3. You know I adore Ping more than anything in the world and I am truly grateful and thankful that we have her. That doesn't take the pain away from wanting another and it doesn't take away the pain of losing Olivia.

Mama Out!!!!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Blah kind of day

We got up early and headed out to an adoption event put on by Jordans Furniture. It was probably a waste of time. I walked out of there feeling worse than when I walked in. We were there to circulate our profile, but it didn't really work out that way. Instead we ran into my social workers boss who asked us why we were there. She said we were all set and she couldn't figure out why we were there. I said "Do you mean we are all set because of Ping?" She said "No, because we had two children now." I had to tell her that O is temporary!!!!!! Then she said "Oh your social worker and I were just talking on Friday and they have another home for Olivia." So which is it????? I am so beyond upset and frustrated by DCF. I truly feel like a lot of them have no idea what they are doing. I feel like we are being abused. They have our lives in their hands though. If we want a child and we want them to supply us with a child, we have to be sweet and not ask too many questions. I am not sure how much longer I can go on like this. Needless to say, we walked out of there very frustrated.

We had someone come at 1:00 pm to look at some antiques we have. He was interested in some, but not the others. I said that I was going to try to empty the entire lot and I would call him if I was interested in just getting rid of the few pieces he wanted. He offered very poor money. I will continue to pursue this. I have to for my Dad's sake.

Later this afternoon when O was sleeping, I closed my eyes. I was up early and I have a cold. Just needed some extra rest. We gave the girls their baths and put them to bed. Watched a little TV and that is about it. Nothing very exciting. I am pretty depressed tonight. I know we need to say goodbye to Olivia and it's killing me. Will we ever have another child? I am really wondering this now.

Mama Out!!!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Beautiful day outside today

Bill and I took the girls to WPI for Ping's Dumpling Group. We were there from 1:00 pm-4:00 pm. It was a very small group that showed today. Sometimes it's overwhelmingly big. There were only three families today. The Dumplings are the girls who are adopted from China. They meet with a group of Chinese students from WPI. These students are wonderful. I can no say enough about them. They clearly love the girls. They give them so much attention. Today we learned about the Peking Opera and Face Changing, which is quite cool. Then the girls made masks. The girls then had snacks and played Chinese jump rope. That is quite the work out. Ping didn't participate in jumping rope as much as she did writing with chalk on the chalk board. Most of the girls in the group today are older. Only Ping and one other little one is 4. There is quite a range of girls usually. The students do a beautiful job planning out activities. We always look forward to going. We go every other month or so. They reserve a classroom in Kaven Hall. I have not been to WPI in awhile.

We had some lunch and then went to Walmart for baby food. Once home, I fed the baby and we put the girls to bed for 8:00 pm. They were very tired. I passed out for a few. Bill is still there. I am heading upstairs for a soak in the tub.

Mama Out!!!!!

Smiley baby.

Peking Opera masks.

Denise in red, Catherine in the back in purple and Clara with the mask on. This mask came out awesome.

Emily with her mask.

Ping with hers.

Chinese student, Emily, Clara and Camille on the jump rope. Camille was great at this.

Katie, Emily, Clara, Camile and Chinese student. Wish I knew her name.

Some students showing us how to do this.

Emily and Katie are sisters. Ping is looking on.

Catherine helping Ping to write her name up high.

Chao, Camille, Emily, Denise and a few other students watching Camille master the plastic string.

Clara, Catherine, Ping, Camile and one of the students with their completed masks. Truly love these children. They are so wonderful to each other.

Friday, September 25, 2009

It's Fall already, what happened to summer?

Yesterday was a busy day for us. I had to take Olivia to see her parents at the DCF office in Worcester. Ping and I sat in the lobby waiting while they visited. Ping was great. She colored. I read my People magazine. The place was busy with people coming in and out, so I found myself reading the paragraph over and over again. That was frustrating.

We left the office at 3:30 pm and went immediately to Ping's dancing lesson. It was considerably less busy in the waiting area, so that was fantastic. I sat there for an hour peeking at the TV to see Ping dance and then down to make Olivia smile. She slept for the first 15 minutes we were there. Bill joined us, so he could watch Ping and the baby with me. Of course Ping declared she was hungry when she got out of class. She requested that we go to a restaurant. What is with this kid? So we stopped at Pinecroft Dairy on the way home. We were hungry and it was on the way home.

We put the girls to bed around 8:00 pm. I can't remember for the life of me what I did for the rest of the night. I am sure it wasn't much. Oh, I watched a boring movie. My TV is terrible, so everything and everyone is red. Very frustrating.

Today was a great day because we had no plans. I dropped Ping off at school and then came back to the house to make a few CASA calls. I then went to UPS, CVS and the bank. I went back to CVS after because the line was so long and I had to get Ping from school. We went home right after and hung our here all day. Ping watched TV and played with a game. Olivia had a nice nap this afternoon and I even got to close my eyes for a short nap. I sat in my chair and Ping came up to sit with me. She loves watching TV and me having my arm around her. I have been fighting a cold, so I really wanted to close my eyes so that I didn't have to deal with how I felt.

Once O got up, we fed the girls, played with them and put them to bed. Bill has been in bed ever since. Shocker, right? I came downstairs and watched 20/20 and painted my nails. Friday nights are so exciting now. Seriously, I am fine with this kind of night. Well off to bed.

Mama Out!!!!!

I don't usually post pictures of Olivia, but I had to post one since I talk about her so much. She is having fun with her toys.

My silly little goose.

Squirmy wormy.

Holding her bag of acorns from Ayi Ethel. I somehow need to pay her back for that generous gift.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Yesterday was crazy

We started the day with dropping Ping off at school. After feeding and having O take a nap, I had to wake her to go and get Ping from school. She likes to sleep before going back to get Ping and it's too hard because it's not a good nap. So I try to hold it off till after. At 11:30 am, Christina from Early Intervention came to do some paperwork on goals we want to strive for with Olivia. At 2:30 pm, two women from the court came to make sure Olivia was okay and living in a safe home. At 4:00 pm, the girls and I went to the skating rink because Ping had lessons at 4:40 pm and then I ran to get my hair done at 6:30. I got home around 10:00 pm or so. Long day. It's done though. Olivia was very crabby for a good part of the day. That is never fun. Ping is doing an awesome job at ice skating.

Today we have zero plans. I went to Walmart for diapers, wipes and Cherrios. I then picked up Ping, we went to the grocery store for O's formula and came home. O is sleeping. I have a choice to either eat, take a nap or make calls. I am going to go make some calls. Ping is eating, so it's quiet right now. Give it 5 minutes.

Mama Out!!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

I had a good amount of energy today

I thought for sure I was going to be exhausted all day. I slept awfully last night and this morning. I didn't sleep at all in fact. I don't remember what time it was, but I started having terrible pain in my back. I took something, guessing at what it was, but it didn't help. I am wondering if it was a little gallbladder or gallstone activity. Who knows. All I know is I started to feel better around noon finally. My stomach and back are still very sensitive, but not like it was in the middle of the night or this morning.

We spent the day at home. I dropped Ping off at school and went to the bank. Other than picking Ping up at school and going shopping for ballet shoes, we stayed in. I spent the entire morning, afternoon and evening literally fixing my pictures on the computer. I made categories for a lot of stragglers I had. I also grouped about 1200 photos for ordering. God help me!!!!! I am waiting on them to upload. It's been uploading all night long. There were so many of them, it literally was an all day project. Not fun at all, but nearly done and that makes me happy.

Tomorrow we have a very busy day. We have school, Early Intervention, someone from the courthouse coming to check on Olivia and then skating for Ping. I will be one tired Queen tomorrow night, that is for sure. Well off to check on the upload.

Mama Out!!!!!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

We got up early this morning. I know that isn't a big deal to most, but it is to me. Usually Bill will take the girls downstairs in the am and let me sleep. I was out of bed first. Well technically Ping was. Olivia was awake. I was the first one out of bed and that is unusual on a weekend. We all got ready and headed next door to sign Ping up for Sunday School. I went to Sunday School at the same church. I have a very limited understanding of religion. I am not very religious, so I am okay with this. I moved when I was around 10 and never got involved with another church in my new town. It seemed like everyone was Catholic in Norwood. Not sure why my parents never felt the need to seek out a church. Mom's mom went every Sunday without fail and my father's mom would go as would some others in the family. I am now back in West Boylston and happen to live next to the church I attended. I want Ping to have a better understanding than I do and thought now was the time to get her involved, so off we went to get her signed in. I feel it's important to add to her knowledge, so when she is older, she will be able to have a conversation with someone about religion. She can be whatever she wants when she grows up, but for now she will go next door to my Protestant church. Bill is Catholic, but has always loved my church, so he is more than happy with having her go there. We were married there as well.

Bill picked up Ping at 10:30 am and the two went grocery shopping. I stayed home and fed the baby and put her down for a nap. I wrote a letter, paid bills and did a few other things. It was nice to be able to catch up a little. When they got home, Bill put away the food and I checked on the cherub. She was still sleeping, so I didn't bother with her. Finally around 1:20 pm, I went upstairs and got her. We wanted to go to Start on the Street in Worcester and it started at 11:00am and was ending at 5:00 pm. We were sick of waiting on the napper and she had been napping a long time. She opened her eyes, the minute I looked in on her.

It was a gorgeous day to be out. After hunting down a parking spot, we walked around and looked at the various art and the craft booths. I ran into someone I used to work with at WPI and also ran into one of my mom's dearest friends. I was walking and looking at booths and all of a sudden I recognized something. I had to think for a moment. I then looked at the person in front of this big picture and I immediately remembered. My mom was very good friends with a woman who is an interior decorator. My mom got a very interesting Christmas card one year from Barbara Herman. It was called "Three Wise Women" and it was very artsy. Well there I was staring at the card, but it was larger than life in a huge picture frame. It was very surreal. I said "Hello." She said "Hi." I said "Barbara, it's Jill Cummings" and I took off my sunglasses. She immediately said "Oh my gosh, I was staring into space and didn't recognize you. I introduced her to Shayla because she knew about her, but never got a chance to meet her. Barbara said she got all the pictures I have sent of Shayla. She gave Shayla a little Trick or Treat bag and a magnet. It was so cute. I heard her say to one of the women sitting next to her, this is Jill Cummings, Janet Cumming's daughter. So they must have known of my mom by name or something. I told her that I thought of my mom daily and that I miss her terribly and she said that she missed her as well. I have known Barbara my entire life. It was really nice to see her.

We saw a few musicians and perfomances and then headed to the Kettle Corn booth for Bill and Ping to get some popcorn. We then left and had dinner at the Chateau in Westborough. We hadn't eaten all day and we were starving. When we got home, Ping watched her new movie and then we put the girls to bed. It was a great day.

Mama Out!!!!!

Odd art. People made out of plastic wrap.

Looking down at the music area.


Bill holding a sword. I stepped away!!!!

Wishes for the city. This was a huge display of rubber bands representing a dream catcher.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Back to Umass

Yesterday I had to take Olivia for blood work. The blood work they took 2 or so weeks ago was somehow compromised. So after dropping off Ping, we headed to Target for a quick errand and then to Umass. I was a little irritated as I stood in a long line only for them to tell me they couldn't find her paperwork. I had to go upstairs and retrieve it. I asked the woman if she was sure because the woman at Faces said she would drop it off and I trusted that she would. She is very nice and helpful and seems like she is on the ball. Well I went upstairs and there was the woman. She said "Uh oh, what is going on." She absolutely brought it downstairs, so she came with me. She told me to sit and she would register me. Another long line again. We both went in with O while she had her blood drawn. That was so much fun, not!!!!! After leaving the hospital, I went home for about 30 minutes before going back out to get Ping. We spent the rest of the day at home. My friend Jillian came over with her little foster boy and we hung out and chatted. I had a great time. Bill came home, Jillian left, we had dinner and the kids went to bed. Bill did too. I decided to watch some TV as I was really feeling pretty tired. I passed out in the middle of the show I was watching.

This morning, Bill got up and went downstairs with the girls. They came and got me around 10:00 am. I got the girls ready and showered. I then put O down for a nap. She slept for a good while, which was nice. We did a few things around the house. I asked Bill if we could skip going to the Big E today since it was so late, but he insisted on going. I kept joking that there were other things we could do. We got all the way to the Big E and turned around. Bill said I was badgering him. He laughed about it though. He wasn't thrilled, but he knew in his heart, it was too late to really enjoy the day. Also, Ping was sleeping. She has been so tired. We headed back home, but stopped in Worcester for some Chinese food. I promised him Chinese if he would forgive me for not wanting to go to the Big E. We put the girls to bed around 8:30. The three of them are there now. Bill never got back up. Shocker!!!! I got up and came downstairs to watch TV and to do a few other things. I am heading up now. I want to get up at a decent hour tomorrow!!!!!

Mama Out!!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Dancing Fever

Got up on time today. That was an accomplishment in itself. I set two alarms. I have been so tired lately. Not sure why. My energy level has been awful and I hate feeling that way.

Ping had a good day at school. I had to go to the WIC office this morning for more formula checks for Olivia. I feel awful taking WIC services, but I was told to do so by my social worker.

I took Ping to her first Creative Movement dancing lesson at 4:00 pm. Bill went to work early so he could meet me there and watch. We are not allowed in the room. There is a small waiting room with three TV's. Each TV is for a different room. We couldn't really make out much, but we could see her. The waiting room was jam packed. I felt bad because I hadn't bought my girl her tap shoes yet. I told her I wanted to make sure she liked dancing before I invested the money in the tap shoes!!!! She liked it, so I guess I will be getting her some tappers.

The minute Ping came bounding out of class, she says to us "You take me to restaurant now, I'm hungry!!!!" Bill was too, so we headed off for a quick bite. We need to shop desperately as we have nothing in the house. Once we got home, I fed O and let her rest for a short time before picking her up and bringing her upstairs for bed. She was exhausted because she skipped her second nap today. Well her dinner didn't agree with her. I gave her ham baby food. Big mistake I guess. Either that or I moved her too quickly. Anyway, just as we were heading into my room, she projectile vomited all over my hair and back. All of a sudden I started wretching. Sorry, I know that is gross. I was a mess. Bill had to help me get undressed because I couldn't do it myself. I just couldn't stop this terrible gagging. I immediately jumped in the shower. Bill changed the baby and she was happy as a clam. We all crawled into bed after that. I got up an hour later and came back downstairs. It was awful. Never again will I give ham. Sticking to fruit and veggies.

Off to bed.

Mama Out!!!!!!

Ready to rock and roll Mama.


So sweet.

Ping on the TV. She is the closest to the bottom.

I wanted to see her in the room, but I know that it's not good to have distracting parents yelling "Pay attention to the teacher!!!!" Um, not that I would do that.

Our Olympian

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Catching up here

How do I keep losing days here?

Monday I dropped off the new truck to have it painted. They gave me a minivan to drive in it's place. I was grateful, but a minivan????? I swore I would never drive one. I asked if it came with a big flopping hat and sunglasses. It didn't. I drove home, pulled in the driveway and realized that I left my garage door opener in the truck and gave the dealership all of my keys. I called Bill at work and he came and rescued me. Sadly my brain has not been working as it should. I waited on a call for the entire afternoon. I finally got it in the evening. I was waiting on the results from my Cat Scan. It was good news. I couldn't be more thrilled. We will check again in 6 months just to be sure. Looks like something I got from having an infection at some point. Bill had a Masons meeting, so I got the kids to bed on my own. Very long day.

On Tuesday, we had an appointment with Early Intervention, but I had to cancel it because we have all had colds and O's nose was dripping. I figured they wouldn't appreciate coming into a home where we have been fighting the cold bug. In the afternoon, I took Ping to her ice skating lessons. She had a blast. Daddy went to work early, so he could meet me there and watch her skate. She got off to a very rocky start, but by the end of the session, she was doing great. After a quick trip to Walmart alone for some cream for O, I went to have my hair cut. I got a scalp massage, a facial and a cut. Yay. My hair was so long. When I got home, the kiddos were asleep.

Today was not the best day. I just need to take a deep breath and slow down a little. I am not using my noggin well. I must have never set the alarm last night because I woke up at 8:45 am. I was horrified. I should have had Ping at school 30 minutes ago. Also, I had a repair person coming between 8:30-9:30 am! I immediately ripped off my sleep shirt and then I heard a knock. I yelled out the window that I would be down in a minute. So I got dressed, ran downstairs, opened the door to the repair person and ran back up to get Ping ready. I grabbed the baby and off we went. When I got home, I fed the baby, changed her and made the bed. I hate starting off my day like that. Once I got Ping from school, we went to drop off the minivan and to get my truck. The truck looked great. We switched the car seats which is a pain in the butt and off we went to Target. We spent the rest of the afternoon at home. Tonight I had a meeting with someone appointed from the court to come and visit with Olivia. Shortly after the gentleman left, we fed the girls and put them in bed. A little while ago, Ping came down and I am pretty sure she is sleeping on top of her Daddy in the family room. I am going to post a few photos and go get them. I have to say tonight that Ping cracked me up. She said "Mama, open your mouth." I said "Why honey?" She said "I am looking for your brain." Let me know if you find it honey because god knows I can't!!!!

Mama Out!!!!!!!

Crazy child. She has two socks on her hands and two on her feet and she is crawling around like an exotic dancer!!!!!

Silly goose.

I am so good, I am joining another class. Bye!

Look at me.

You can say you saw this pictures first when CNN calls you and asks how it feels to know an Olympic Gold Winner. No pressure baby.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Thursday through Sunday

Talk about falling down on the blogging job. I can't even really remember what I have done the last few days. Let me look at my calendar. Hmmmm, okay I think I can piece it together now.

First of all, it's been a really tough week. On Thursday my new doctor called to tell me I needed to have a Cat Scan. I already knew about it, but we chatted about it anyway. She also proceeded to tell me that she wasn't going to support me on something I have been wanting to do. I was disappointed, but didn't have the time to chat about it because I had to go get Ping from school. Me, Olivia and Ping went to the Faces Dept. at Umass right after I got Ping. Olivia had a follow up appointment to see how she has been doing. She has gained an inch in 10 days and she has gained a few ounces. The doctor thought she looked fantastic. Olivia is sitting up on her own now. She is vibrant and happy. She loves to explore things. The doctor thought it was a remarkable difference from 10 days previous. After Faces, I met my new friend Jillian in the office. She is a foster mom with two little guys. They are precious. Unfortunately it was late and the kids were not feeling the best, so we kept the visit short. We are hoping to get together this coming week. It was funny that we both had appointments with the kids on the same day and at the same time.

When I got home, I received a call from one of the head surgeons for weight loss surgery at Umass. We had a nice chat. When Bill got home, I went to the Y to swim. It's been forever since I have exercised and I needed it desperately. I was zonked after, but it was good that I went.

Friday was an awful day. I had to run all over the map and I didn't feel well. Ping has a terrible cold and now I am getting it. I just feel very run down and when I woke up, I just wanted to cry that morning. Mom's don't have time to cry though, right? I took Ping to school and then came home to do a few things. I picked Ping up and drove to Burlington with both girls. I had lunch plans with three women I have never met. They were meeting with me to discuss a life changing time for them and they wanted to share it with me. This has been planned for months and I was eager to go. I didn't know I would have Olivia at the time. Needless to say, I was an hour late, O needed to be changed, she spit up, Ping needed to go to the bathroom and I was brain dead. However, I got a chance to sit with these three lovely ladies. I had to run because I was asked to drive Olivia to the DCF office in Worcester so that she could visit with her parents. I was a few minutes late and that stressed me out, but I did okay. It didn't help that it was raining. That and the traffice made me late, it wasn't me not leaving on time. Anyway, Ping and I sat in the lobby while O visited with mom and dad. I didn't want to drive around for a measly hour, so it was easy enough to just sit there. Unfortunately, Ping and I had nothing to do. The acousics in the place were awful, so a whisper could be heard throughout the place. That was frustrating. I spoke to Donna on the phone. Kaylee's social worker who I adored, stopped to say hello which was awesome because she isn't in the Worcester office. It was a nice surprise to see her. Additionally, someone I took Mapp training with was walking by. So we said hello. They then came back to the lobby, so I was able to chat with them. However, then O was brought to me, she was fussy and then the birth parents walked by. Mom was crying. I thought I was going to start crying. It was awful. However, I had the option to run to my car and I didn't. I was not worried about meeting them at all. It's nice to see their faces for many reasons. Makes them more human. You can assume many things about people, but once you meet them, you realize they are human beings. A few minutes after they left, the two brothers of Olivia came by with their social worker. The oldest kissed Olivia. I didn't even get a good look at the children because it was so hectic. Needless to say, I am glad I got to see everyone even if it was for a minute. However, on the other hand, I wish it didn't all happen the way it did. I walked away upset and anxious. Hard to explain, but that is how I felt. I didn't have time to wallow in it because once I was home, Bill came in and then I ran back out the door. I had to have my Cat Scan at 7:30 pm. When I got home, I sat on the chair and coulnd't move. I passed out. I didn't have lunch or dinner that day. I didn't feel well. All around, it was a long and exhausting day, both emotionally and mentally!

Saturday brought some sleep. Bill took both kids downstairs and fed them while I slept in the morning. We then did a quick errand in Shrewsbury and then went to Worcester for a party with the Dumplings. The Chinese students were there and a lot of the kids with their parents. We were there from 4:00 to 9:00 pm. We had a wonderful time. Everybody is really warm and inviting. It was so nice to sit and relax and chat with people. Everyone wanted to hold and love O, so it was a nice break. Ping loved seeing other girls that look like her. She now points to photos if there is an Asian baby and says "that baby looks like me Mama." She loves all her friends, but it's good for her to be with other children that resemble her. Last night I watched some TV and that was that.

Today we are home. We had plans with friends, but because Ping has this cold and I don't feel so good, I canceled. I am disappointed because I would have loved to see them. Olivia has the cold now too. We are venturing out to go to Target because we need baby food and because Ping has outgrown her shoes. Unbelieveable. However, it's after Labor Day, so no white sandals can be worn now. LOL. Well I must get going. I have a lot to do. I just wish I felt well.

Wish me luck with my Cat Scan results please:)

Mama Out!!!!!!

Meg, Mickey and Shiela. 177 lbs lost for Meg, 105 for Mickey and Shiela has lost 135 lbs. Amazing women.

Crocodile at restaurant. Wish I could have enjoyed the restaurant a bit more.

Chao reading suggestions on what we could do for future Dumpling groups. Clara is looking on in the red. In the brown is Lisa with her beautiful daugher Jessica next to her.

Bill and Ping plus Denise who hosted the event. She is talking to Chao. Another student is next to Chao. Lisa and Jessica are listening in.

Ping dressing up.

All the girls with the exception of a few not showing. There are more that belong, but were not there that day. Love this group of kids.

Another shot of the group. The students that teach are at the top. They are at WPI.

Neesha loving Ping's new seat. I am not a fan of it and am not sure why I bought it.

The minute Neesha got down, Sophie got up into it.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

I swear I am brain dead!

I don't know why I didn't blog last night. I couldn't for the life of me remember what I did yesterday. So I had to look on my calendar. We had no plans. We stayed home after I got Ping from school. We did one quick errand and then came home. I tried to get a lot of stuff done at my desk. I did pretty well. It's harder with Olivia because she truly wants to be entertained all the time. However, I made a small dent at my desk. My social worker called yesterday to ask me if I had intentions on taking the 2.5 year old brother of Olivia. I told her that I said I would if parental rights were to be terminated, but I was told that was not going to happen. She told me that the goal is to reunify the family, but that it will probably take a year to do so. She said that if we continued to foster Olivia, we would not be eligible for any children that come up for adoption. She also said that O was supposed to be temporary, but now that it's not, we need to decide what we want to do. I told her that Bill and I are looking to adopt and not to foster at this time. We decided that it's best to let Olivia go to another foster family now rather than in a year or more. We love her and don't want to let her go, but we can not go through the heartache of letting her go after she has been here for so long. That wouldn't be good for Ping at all, not just us. So they are looking for another foster family. I am very sad over this, but I believe we have to do what is in the best interest of our family and this is it. We are not sure when the transition will happen.

Today was a truly awful day. Bill shut my alarm off and when he finally woke me, it was 15 minutes later than I should have gotten up. So I had to get ready quickly and get Ping ready and then I dashed out of the house. I didn't get to make the bed or get Olivia dressed. I rushed home because I had a painter coming at 8:30 am. He was coming to finish up an area that was never painted when he was here before. When I got home, I got the message that they had to cancel for the day. Not a big deal. I then proceeded to change and feed O and also to make the bed and neaten the place up a bit. I had a few phone calls to make. I woke little O from her nap and put her in her carseat. We were heading out the door when the phone rang. It was Umass confirming an appt. for me on Friday night. I had no idea what it was for or about. After talking with them and trying the doctor, I now know. I will discuss that more at a later date. I am just really upset about it. My doctor didn't tell me about this further test I needed to do to look at something. Anyway, I called the school as I was running really late due to all the phone calls. I called before the time to pick her up, so they knew. I didn't call after being late or anything. So I go to pick up my baby and her cheek is all puffy and red. She was coloring while waiting for me and when she got up to get more paper, she tripped and her face hit the desk. I felt awful. As it is, Miss Shayla doesn't feel great from a cold or allergies. Not sure. Anyway, I felt so bad since it wouldn't have happened had I been on time. I know I shouldn't as it's not my fault, but I did feel bad. So of course I cried on the way to my 12:00 pm meeting with Mindy. Mindy, Ciara and Ping were ice skating today. I called Mindy and told her I was on my way. I felt bad being late, but my morning was so awful. We made it. Ping skated and had a great time. After skating, I ran home to meet the washing machine repair person since ours has been leaking. She came and said she had to order a valve. The rest of the late afternoon was about feeding Ping and getting McScreamy to nap. I got a few calls and then I tried to nap for a few. Olivia wasn't having it, so I fed her while Bill cooked dinner. The rest of the night has been about catching up on more stuff at my desk!

Wish me luck on my Friday night test.

Mama Out!!!!!!

Ciara, Mindy and Ping in the baby blue colored coat.

Hi Mama!

Wanting to give me a kiss.

Silly goose with apron on head and mitts on feet.

Oven mitts as slippers. She is so crazy! I couldn't love anyone more.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day

Our friend Anita came over and spent the day with us. I had a great time visiting with her. She brought me my belated Christmas present with her. She got me three Pandora beads. A baby carriage, a dolphin and a pretty red Murano cirlce with pink hearts. I love them all. The Dolphin is because we were just away and swam with the dolphins. The baby carriage is because there will be another baby here soon or so she says and the red Murano with pink hearts is because I love anything heart related. I immediately put them on my bracelet. I need another bracelet now. I will have to get one for myself. Such a shame:)

Donna gave me a belated birthday present over the weekend. She gave me a Vera Bradley towel. I love it. It's the Hope Garden pattern, which I adore. So I got some gifts this weekend, not bad at all if I say so myself.

We watched Kung Fu Panda on TV and played with the baby and Ping. For dinner we had chips, burgers and potato salad. It was a very laid back day. Well as laid back as one gets with an 8 month old baby!!!!

Back to school for Ping tomorrow. She has a drippy nose and is all stuffed up. I am not happy about that at all. We dealt with this all last year. The first week she was in school, she came home with a cold. Now the first week this year, she comes home with a cold. I suppose it could be allergies, but I don't think so. I am so ready to home school. I don't want her sick and bringing it home to us all year like she did last year!!!! Well I think I might head to bed a tad early. We have to get up early so I can get Ping to school and Bill has to get to work. Maybe I can get something done around this house tomorrow?????

Mama Out!!!!!

Daddy, you must go to bed. DADDDDDDYYY? Forget it, I will join you.

TV watching can make you so tired.

My tired baby.

Neesha and Anita. Neesha falls all over Anita when she comes.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Labor Day Weekend

Let's see if I can remember what I did on Friday since it is Sunday night now.

I went to load the two girls in the car and hit the garage door opener. Discovered that the trunk to the new truck was up. Not sure how that would happen. I know I put it down after I was done taking stuff out of it on Thursday. Well anyway, the garage door scratched the trunk to smitherines. I was devastated. I put the kids in the car and we dropped Ping off at school. I came right back to the house because the Vet was coming for Sophie. When she left, Olivia and I headed to Target and then back to get Ping at school. I unloaded the truck at the house and headed back out. I went to the dealership to show them what I had done and then I took Olivia to her bone scan. Nobody told me that the bone scan was going to be nearly two hours!!!!! We were all pretty tired after leaving the hospital, so we went home and stayed home for the rest of the day and night.

Saturday morning I slept in. I was exhausted and since Bill went to bed early, I asked him to bring both girls downstairs. He started walking out of the room with just Ping. I happened to wake up at the perfect time to yell "Don't forget OLIVIA!!!!!!" So they all went downstairs to eat and watch some TV. I got up 11:00 am or so and showered and got both girls ready to go to Ayi Donna's house to hang out and swim. We went to their house for 2:30 pm or so. Ping swam. I was going to swim, but it was a little chilly, so I decided to forgo that. We had a nice time. Nicole and Ayi Donna held the baby a lot, so I got a nice break. Once we got home, we put both girls in bed.

This morning I woke up when everyone else did. I told Bill that he and the girls should bond downstairs while I slept some more. So I slept in. I had awful dreams though, so it wasn't a nice peaceful sleep. I got up and got the girls ready and we headed to Kim's house for a cook out. We had a nice time. I have never been to Kim's house in all the time I have known her. She and Josh bought the house 2 or so years ago. It's a nice home in Hubbardston. She lives across the road from a little pond that you can swim at. We walked over there to take a look. I didn't let Ping swim though. It was a little too chilly. We got home a short time ago. I fed Olivia. I fed Ping too. She is eating now and I knew I needed to catch up here. It's hard to remember everything that happens when a few days have passed.

One thing that I forgot to mention was that my Uncle John called me from the road the other day. He said he only had a minute but wanted to tell me that he was driving down Route 95 past the Neponset Street exit in Norwood. I used to live right off of Neponset Street with my parents. He called to tell me that my Mom and Dad would be so proud of me for taking in little Olivia and taking good care of her. I thought that was the sweetest thing. I was a little teary after the call. It was a beautiful thing to say to me. It meant a lot to me.

I can't believe how cool it's already turning. I love Fall, but I was just starting to enjoy our Summer!!!!

Mama Out!!!!!

Ping with Nicole.

Nicole sharing her Chinese rice with Ping. We were waiting on our hamburgers!

Ping eating Daddy's rice.

Ping on the ATV.