Life as it happens with our three beautiful and adopted children, Shayla, Yamira and Manuel

Friday, July 17, 2009

It's been one hell of a week. Wednesday was Ping's 4th birthday. Unbelievable. My girl is getting older every day. I just want to freeze time!!!!

I got Ping and Kaylee up and took Ping to Vacation Bible School. I then went home because I was expecting an investigator for Kaylee. This is apparantely standard practice. The woman was really nice and we had a great chat. After picking Ping up at noon, the three of us headed to Leominster to see Kaylee's parents. Kaylee's social worker was in court and called me in a panic. She was supposed to pick up K at 12:15 pm. So I told her I would take her over there and she could meet me there. It was really pretty stressful as the call came in at 11:45 am. I was in the middle of feeding the baby and so I was not prepared to head out after getting Ping. So I got the directions, got some snacks for Ping and headed to the office. I have never been there before and I got a little lost, but I was there plenty early. The social worker ended up getting there before I did. I was just about to finish feeding Kaylee when her parents came in, so I gave the bottle and K over to her mom. They were nice enough. They had been really worried about the baby. They didn't know who was taking care of her. I would be crazy over that too. I told them that she was being treated like the princess she was. They were really very grateful. I left after a few minutes so they could have their visit.

Ping and I headed home. As we drove out of the parking lot, Ping kept saying "Bye bye baby, have a good time with your mommy and daddy." It was adorable. Kaylee came back to the house about two hours later. She had a pediatrician appt. at 2:00 pm. She looked good to them. I was grateful. I got a chance to talk to the social worker after the visit. All is well. The rest of the day was spent at home. We were all pretty tired from the long day. When Bill got home, Ping opened her birthday gifts and we sang to her and had cake. Daddy made her favorite meal. She was stuffed, so she barely ate any cake. She loved her gifts. I got her two princess dresses, a few craft projects, a crown and a wand. I can't remember what else. I have to say that Ping was thrilled with how her day went. I let her hold the baby during the day for a few minutes. Ping's eyes were as big as saucers when I asked her if she wanted to hold the baby. She said "Yes Mommy and I will be so careful with her." God I love this kid!

Thursday I decided I wasn't going anywhere. I had a bunch of phone calls to make and some things to do around the house. So with the exception of taking Ping to VBS and picking up a swing from a Freecycler, I was home for the day. Kaylee didn't want to sleep at all. Needless to say I didn't get much done! I have a feeling she is colicky, but what do I know? She slept pretty decent in the middle of the night. I slept on the chair downstairs while holding her. She loves to be held. I had her nestled in the crook of my arm so that she couldn't fall. I let Ping hold Kaylee again before bed. Kaylee hated the idea. You will see in the photos that it was not a good experience for her.

So today is Friday, well technically it is now Saturday. So yesterday I got up from the chair and fed Kaylee and then got Ping going and I jumped into the shower. I made sure I had all of K's stuff because she was leaving around 10:30 am. I took Ping to VBS and someone said "How are you doing with all this?" I said that I was doing well. I left church, got in the truck and bawled. It's only been one week, but I love Kaylee with all my heart. I am so sad that she has to go and live with her parents. I want her to be with them, but at the same time, I want her so badly. I thought that would be the end of the tears, but I was hysterical on and off all day long. Needless to say my eyes have stung and have wanted to be shut for most of the day. I did go back to the church for 11:30 am to see a little show. It was adorable. I just had to bite my lip. I was so afraid people would keep asking me about Kaylee. I have brought her in every single day since I picked Ping up at noon on that first day. They knew the story. So a lot of the women asked how I was. That threw me over the edge every time, so I had to bite hard so I could stop the tears.

Tonight we packed everything up and put it in the car to be returned to either the store or Meri who let us borrow some stuff. I just had to get it out of the house.

My nails looked horrendous, so I thought I would paint them tonight. Didn't matter if I could actually see them or not. I don't know why I just didn't go to bed. I went upstairs for the polish and kissed Ping in bed. She just finished reading with Daddy and the lights were out. She turned to me and said "Can you go back downstairs now Mama?" That is love for you, no?

Well I know this post is probably jumbled. I may have mispelled something or said something incorrectly. Please forgive me, I am drained. I just wanted to get caught up here.

Hope you are well.

Mama Out!!!!!!

Bear with me, there are a lot of Kaylee. She was just too beautiful not to capture in various positions.

Ping looking on.

Sweetly sleeping.

Hello baby.

Wide awake.

So fair.

Snuggle puss.

My new tiara.

Princess Ping.

Decked out.

Michael Jackson move.

Position #2 in ballet, not that she knows that.

Fairy Princess.

Daddy carrying cake.

Hmmm, cake.

Never did make a wish!

Waiting to eat. Take the picture Mama!!!

Staring at me on the computer.

Sleeping.

I am in love.

So cozy.

Close up.

Baby cakes.

Where is she? So pink.

Hanging with Ping.

Not loving being held by Ping.

Adorable.

Waiting to go see mommy and daddy.

Good bye sweetie, I love you.

Vacation Bible School.

Clapping as she is coming in.

Safari theme.

Singing.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Major catching up to do here!!!!

On Friday, the three of us piled into the car to head to the ranch we went to in January. We went because we had a 2 night free stay. Trust me, I would never go there if it wasn't for that. So we are about 2 hours down the highway when I get a phone call from our social worker with DCF. She is interested in knowing if we are willing to take a seven day old baby girl with high legal risk. We say we would love to. She said she would call us as soon as she got back to the office. In the meantime, I received another call from someone else in her office asking if we are interested in taking the little one. We said we were and we would turn around. So then the supervisor of the social worker for the baby called and discussed the case with us a little. We turned around and flew home. However, about an hour back into our ride, we got another call. The baby could not be found. So we were told we could go home and wait or we could continue on our journey. Well Ping was so excited to go to the ranch, we felt it would be best for her to turn around and go. We did just that.

The ranch was much, much better this time. We had a much better room and the place was a heck of a lot cleaner. I couldn't really enjoying myself because I was constantly wondering where this little angel was. They said they would call when she was found, but there was no call!!!!! Ping went on a few hayrides and pony rides. Bill and I rode the horses each day. That was fabulous.

We came home Sunday and all we could manage to do was run out for dinner with Meri and Joe and the kids because we had no food in the house.

On Monday, I got up at 8am to take Ping to the church next door. She has Vacation Bible School this week. I dropped her off and came right home so that I could call about this little baby. Well as soon as I walked in the door, they called me. She had been found on Saturday morning. I have no idea why they didn't call!!! However, they wanted to know if we were still interested. Of course we were. So I called Bill and told him and I said I would call back after she arrived. Ten minutes later I called and told him to come home. I was afraid the social worker would drop off the baby and I would have to run and get Ping at the same time. Bill said he would be home soon. At 10:30, Miss Kaylee came to stay with us. She is about seven pounds and perfect. The social worker wasn't able to stay long because she had to go to court. Once she was gone we picked up Ping from VBS. Ping was shocked that we had a baby with us. She instantly fell in love. I told her that Kaylee's mommy and daddy were not feeling well and that we had to take care of her for a little time. She then says "Mama, baby said she wants to stay with us forever. Can we keep her forever?" It was so very sweet. God I wish we could! Anyway, we headed off to Target with Meri, Joe and the kids. We had nothing for Miss Kaylee. So we bought diapers and bottles and lotions, etc. We then had to run to another Target to get the Pak n Play I wanted to get for her. Had to be plum colored you know! We were exhausted. We came home and set up the Pak n Play. I think it was nearly 1:30am when we thought we should crawl up to bed. The house looked like a pipe bomb had gone off inside. There was just utter chaos here.

I brought Kaylee upstairs and tried to put her in the bassinet but she wanted no part of it. She was screaming, so she woke up Ping. Ping started to cry and said she couldn't sleep because the baby was too "screamy." Ping then said "Mama, baby Kaylee needs to go back to where she belongs." It was pretty funny. We finally got Ping to settle down and then she started chattering like crazy. She said to Daddy "Can my next sister look like me please?" It was one of those awwww moments. I wish honey, I wish.

Well Miss Kaylee was having no part of any of this chatter, so I took her downstairs so that Ping and Bill could sleep. I sat on the couch for the entire night. Kaylee wasn't happy. At one point I got her to sleep for some time. Around 7:00 am I decided to get up and get showered. I needed to get Kaylee ready and Shayla ready so I could get Shayla ready for VBS. I was so proud of myself. I got her there on time with two kids. That is a huge feat for me!

I brought Kaylee back to the house and proceeded to make some phone calls. I spoke to Kaylee's social worker and it was decided in court yesterday that Kaylee is going to go live with her mom on Friday at a shelter. All I can say is I don't make the rules:( I think Kaylee should be with her mom, but I hate that it will be at a shelter.

I have now gotten used to Kaylee and have fallen in love. I have gotten her to be less fussy and I am working on a routine with her. She loves to sleep on her side. I got a lot done today. That shocked me. I hit a wall around 4:00 pm. Our social worker stopped by to give me something and to say hello. She couldn't get over how beautiful this little one is.

Bill came home and I asked him to feed Kaylee as I was so exhausted and knew he and Shayla were going out shopping. I passed out. When Bill said he had to go, I was like "huh????" So I told him to lay her in the crook of my legs. Can I tell you that she loved, loved and loved that????? She was safe, I would only roll forward and not back if I really was going to fall dead asleep, but I didn't. She loved the warmth and closeness of it all. I was still half alive when Bill got home. He asked what us bums were doing? Um, we are very tired!!!!

Ping went right to bed. She was zonked. I fed Kaylee and changed her and held her for awhile. I then had Bill hold her so I could wrap Ping's gifts. My baby is four today, July 15th!!!!!! I hope she loves her stuff.

I have to run as it's late and the little one is stirring. Time for a snack. It's 1:00 am and I am getting tired again. I hope she will sleep for me. Before I run, I just want to explain that we are not foster parents. We are hoping to adopt from our state. We are considered a preadoptive home placement. There is high and low legal risk. Kaylee happened to be high risk. Kaylee could have been ours permanently but we would not have known that for a long time as there is a process to follow. We are blessed for having the opportunity to have her for as long as we are. We hope the next little one will be ours to keep.

Hope you are well!

Mama Out!!!!!!!!