Should I put my honesty hat here? I guess I should. I can only hope future posts will be so much better.
We received Shayla at 5:30 pm yesterday. She is a cutie. She has a terrible cold, her nose is running like a faucet and she drools like a crazy person. Probably due to her palate? Not sure. I will have to find out more information on that.
Bill got right on the floor and started playing with her. I held back as I thought overwhelming her would not be a good thing to do. The transition went well. Even our guide thought so.
We brought her back to the room and played for awhile. Then Bill and the guide went to the store to get juice. I started to peel off her layers. In 2 seconds, she squated right in the hotel room between the bed and peed and pood, BIG TIME. Then she lost it and cried for hours. When Bill returned, we peeled off 5 layers of clothes plus boots and she and Bill got into the tub! She liked that after some time. She washed Bill after he washed her. It was cute. Then we got her out and into her pj's. She was glad to be dressed. Seems like she likes clothes to be on. Yay. She was very helpful in getting her clothes on.
She loves tissues. She loves wipes and must carry many packages at a time. She has a gorgeous smile. She loves to clean and visits the trash frequently!!!! She loves to organize things too. She is very much like me.
She went to sleep next to Bill and slept till morning. At one point, Bill found her on the floor though. She must have fallen out of bed.
Today we had breakfast and then headed to the Civil Affairs Office. We paid all of the fees and signed and stamped all of the necessary paperwork to legally make her our daughter. We then left and headed back to the hotel. We did try to have lunch out, but she was a nut, so we got take out and brought it back to the hotel. Wasn't so thrilled with the food. I have been trying to be so good with trying stuff. I am dying for pizza or a hamburger though.
So we ate back at the hotel and then played and tried to bond. We have gotten her used to a Western toilet. She tells us when she has to go. She will only let Bill take her though.
Right now she dislikes me intensely. She hits me and kicks me and purposely scratches me. We all ended up crying tonight. It's so hard. We have waited for years and have been through so much to get to the point. I knew this could be an issue, but I never thought she would out and out reject and hate me. All I can say is I will keep trying. I am just worried right now about her grieving and my feelings towards her.
I will try to post pics when I can!
Miss my girls at home and my friends! XOXO
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12 comments:
Hang in there Jill, she is grieving the loss of all that she has ever known. Things will get better in a few days. The grieving is actually a very good sign that she is able to form attachments. I cant imagine how hard this is on you, but it WILL get better.
I know exactly how you feel. But your case is different than mine. I guess she just needs TIME. Hang in there and try not to get too disappointed. I imagine this is common with adoptions, and must be even more difficult with a little girl her age.
I cant wait to meet her! Her blanket is coming along great and Lucas' chinese is really improving!
Lucas is back to school this week (YAY!) so after I drop him off I am headed to your house to spend some time with the girls.
Miss you too! xoxoxo
Jill, I'm sending you a big cyberhug. I know how trying some of this is for you; I've definitely "been there" with one of my girls. Just know that each day she will come to trust you more and more. Don't be hard on yourself. Just take it one step at a time. It will get better. In fact, I'm sure that by the end of the week things will improve a lot.
Who was it that said "Parenting is not for sissies?!" Boy, were they ever right!
Blessings from Denise B.
Hi Jill - I am thrilled for you! She sounds wonderful. Try not to get down about her not bonding w/ you yet...remember, she may be 2 but she's really still just a baby, and even children who are your own will lash out. Ava bit me the other night because she was mad at me! Anyhow, it will come. I know, easy for me to say, but she'll come around. Give her time and space. I can't wait to meet her!
oh jill!!! i love you honey and miss shayla will to before long. i am sending you big big big texas-sized hugs. oxoxoxox to your sweet little 'party of 3'.
Jill, if you get any time, read this link...it explains so much.
This is really very normal, and common, although it doesn't make you feel any better right now.
http://chinaadopttalk.com/2006/11/14/the-not-so-rosy-part/
We had the opposite problem, (baby not liking dh) and it was really really hard for him. It faded away pretty quickly after getting home...hang in there, fake it til you make it ;)
Big hugs to you Jill!
ALL kids go through times where they favor one parent over the other, but it doesn't last long. She'll be loving on you in no time! Just don't force it on her, and she'll be all over you very soon!
I hope her cold clears up soon! Can't wait to meet her!
Sorry, have no idea why my last comment posted under Rick's account....
I know it's tough right now Jill but it will get better, I promise.
Bre HATED me at first too and would only let her daddy touch her.
Shayla will come around.
My son preferred my husband at first, too. He wasn't too crazy about me. Now he's my snuggle buddy. Shayla will come around. It just takes times and lots of patience. I know how frustrating it must be for you. I felt the same overwhelming emotions!!!
Oh Jill - I know so much less about this than all the wise women who posted here, but I have to believe that she will love you soon. She's been though so much in her 2 years, and she needs to learn to who trust and how to love. She will get there.
hugs!
Hugs to you, Jill. I can only say that children are the worst to those they love the most. Stay strong and love her up.
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