This child is trying to kill me, I swear!

Just when you think it couldn't get better than cat food and yogurt!

Let's see, yesterday I got up and proceeded to get us ready. Ping looked markedly different. Her rash was different. The closer I got, the more I realized that the young chick had hives!!!!! So I called her pediatrician's office and they said to come in. They wanted to make sure it wasn't a virus. So after a bank appointment where Ping terrorized everyone, we headed off to the peds office. Can I just say that everyone at the bank was saying "bye Ping." Yeah, she gets around. LOL. They think she is cute. She is, but not when you are discussing 401K plans and college savings plans. It's a tough appointment to sit through. I get that. I am not sure who it's tougher for. I digress. We go to the peds office to see her doctor. She is a sweet lady and I enjoy her as a doctor, but I am so embarrassed that I see her more than my husband lately! Well she confirms that it is hives. She believes it's from the Amoxicillian Ping was taking. Great, I have a penicillian resistant kid! Oh well, it's okay. I asked the doctor if she was POSITIVE it wasn't the Chicken Pox. She was pretty sure it was just hives. She said they would get worse too. Great, Ping on Benadryl. It could go either way.

Poor Ping. She is itchy as all hell. She looks blotchy and her shower is this Sunday. Nothing like sharing your daughter with friends and family for the first time while she looks like this! She is going to make that cute outfit look funky now:) Anyway, let's not get caught up in looks, shall we?

We head off to the registry so that I can renew my license. Yay, that is a lot of fun. Sitting in the registry with an itchy kid for an hour. Sitting in the registry is enough to put anyone over the edge. I have to say that Ping did really well up until number B265. See I was B270! Melt down. She was hungry, had to go to the bathroom, etc. What is a good mama to do? I told her to wait. Mind you, she didn't get it and so she proceeded to turn up the volume!!!!! I was NOT getting out of my line. No way, no how! So I finally get called and the woman is a chatty soul. NOT NOW LADY. You are supposed to be snarly like everyone in the registry, not friendly! I have a child that needs the bathroom. Her Pull Up at this point is 22 lbs alone!!!!! Ugh. So she take my handsome picture. I was so impressed that she got my thin side. Then she told me she knew my neighbor and we had to chat about that forever. Great. I have to get to Target, we need to get some Benadryl!!!!! I finally escaped with Ping following. So I made another great mom move when I got to the car. Dying to know what it is? Yeah, I changed her right there in the parking lot. The damn kid was wet and itchy. What else could I do? I felt like a loser. I mean, she is nearly 3. I had her stand up in the backseat. Nobody saw her. Then because I didn't want to drive around with a stinky Pull Up, I literally pretended not to notice that I rolled the Pull Up out into the parking lot. Trashy? Hell yes! What if there was a camera in the parking lot? Can't litter right? So I can't look like I did it on purpose. I am at the registry you know? LOL. I know, I know, I littered. After they made me wait an hour though, pee on them:)))

At Target we got the chewable Benadryl tablets as I know she won't take liquid. So I grabbed the grape flavored ones and a few other things and went home.

I was pulling a double shift. Bill worked all day and had fire dept. training till 10. The pay for double shift really sucks! Mom duty past 5 sucks. Well I gave her the Benadryl and after playing for a short time, she crawled up on my lap, hugged me and passed out. Awwwww, so sweet. Well it was sweet with the exception of the broken neck. 35lbs of dead weight. I waited and then quietly moved her to the couch. Bill came home, we had dinner and he passed out. I asked him to take out the trash and put her to bed. He kept sleeping. I asked again. Finally at midnight I decided to clean up everything myself. Wow, both woke up. Now not for nothing, but I can't clean with her around. I didn't want to wake her, hence the reason she should have been put in bed. I was furious. Bill put her in bed, came back down and fell asleep on the couch again. I begged him not to because Ping has been waking in the middle of the night for the past two weeks and she will only respond to him. No matter what I do, she fights me. So at 4am in the morning, my darling starts screaming like a banshee. I had to come downstairs, wake up BABA and tell him to get upstairs. I was so mad. If I wasn't so tired, I would have been in my lab, working on the arsenic concoction!

This morning I got up very early. Miss Ping had an appt. at the Cranio Dept. in the hospital. Bill said he would meet us there. So we checked in and waited to be called. It was a very, very long appt. First we get a weight and height and then go back to the waiting room Then we saw the speech people. They were great. Thought she was doing well. She isn't nasaly which happens with Cleft Palate children quite often. It's hard to really evaluate with the language issues though. We then went back to the waiting room. Then we saw two doctors and a dentist. She wasn't cooperating, we had to literally put her head between the doctors legs and put her legs on Bill's shoulder. Sounds awful, no? She kept biting the stick. She would not let them look in. It wasn't enjoyable for any of us. We then went back to the waiting room. A nurse came to get us and another woman with her great granddaughter. We headed off to the Audiologist. We had to wait for awhile. Bill had to leave for a meeting. It took him 5 minutes to leave. Ping was devastated. Absolutely devastated. She literally screamed bloody murder for awhile. Another couple were so mad. What could I do?. I tried to quiet her and comfort her but she was blaming me for him leaving. She was throwing her hands by her sides like she was slapping me. She is famous for this move. Bill was laughing because she always blames ME! She didn't know he was laughing of course. We were called and led to a booth. The booth had noises piped in here and there. Ping sat on my lap. They then took pictures of the inside of her ear and we were led off to see a doctor. I think Ping could hear more than she let on, but she was so distraught over her dad leaving that she was still snorting and sniffling.

The doctor took a quick look and said that he wanted to schedule surgery in the next two weeks. He does not feel that she hears well. She can hear, but not crisp or clearly. So they will put her under anesthesia, get the wax out, drain the fluid and put tubes in. This is quite common for Cleft kids. They tend to have hearing issues. My poor baby. As long as the anesthesia isn't like the damn Amoxicillian!!!!! I know Ping hears me, she just ignores me! LOL. I do truly feel that she hears better than she let on. However, I do believe the tubes will be good for her.

We will go back every 6 months to be monitored for speech and orthodontic work, etc.

After being there for 3 hours, we headed to CVS for her new drug and then home. Once home I realized I was so tired. I gave her another Benadryl. However, instead of getting drowsy like I expected, she got crazy. CRAZIER THAN EVER! There was not enough mama juice to take care of me today.

I encouraged her to lay on the couch next to me. Well after she started to fade, I did. The only thing is that she was FAKING! The minute I passed out, she decided to have a ball in my sleeping honor. I honestly slept for 15 minutes. I know because I knew the time I passed out and woke up. Amazing what one can do in such a short period of time. I woke up to her rearranging my CHINA CABINET!!!!!!! I kid you not. She put some tea cups with other saucers. She put some in bowls. She was rearranging the whole place. Mind you there is a child safety lock on the cabinet. She figured it out!!!! So I sprang to my feet and got her to take a hike. She decided to go upstairs. I waited and waited and listened and listened. All of a sudden I hear "click click." She has my heels on! I dash upstairs, we clean up the shoes since there were several pairs out for her choosing. The red socks with the lucite heels were soooo cute. Very fashionable! I tried like heck to get her to nap when we got downstairs. No go! So I checked my emails and watched her out of my right eye. All of a sudden she starts throwing all the cushions around. Not just the toss pillows, but the cushions. She is jumping on them like a pile of Fall leaves. She then collapses my beading table, turns it upside down and starts loading cushions from the couch. Bellwoman practice???? She drags the upside down table to the bathroom. Destination please? Toilet? Nah. I ask her what she is doing and I tell her to put the cushions back. I grab them and start to help her, she quits and sits on one. Um sista, help yo mama!

By 5:15 I start to plan my demise. Do I go out in style or wilt away? This day is far from over and second shift is off at school. I know that I have another 4 hours of this. I can't do it. I can't keep up. The china cabinet, the cushions, the shoes. STOP! JUST STOP! Ping is now into ripping off her Pull Up when I blink. So she pees all down her legs and into her shoes. Oh so pretty. After I change her, she starts pulling out Pull Ups. At that point I politely tell her that I am done with her antics and she should just stay in one place and keep her hands to herself. Yeah, that went over like a charm. I get on my bed and she follows. I figure that I should admit defeat and go to sleep. After all, what more can she do to me!!!!!! I am weak and helpless and I have been conquered. The territory has been taken by force, but none the less, taken. Bill calls. I tell him my plans. He thinks it's funny. It's so cute that his little Ping Ping tortures me. Is that not sweet? Note to self, get into the lab as soon as I get a chance. Start filling the ice pick trays. They will never figure out what I used to stab him:)))) After she takes the liner out of the basket, throws her huge Mickey Mouse into it on top of the dirty shirts that have to go to the cleaners and I found that she added 100 wipes to the soup, I jump up. I have but one breath left and I am going to use it damn it!!!!!! I put it all back, tell her to come downstairs and give her food. It's dinner time and she is hungry. She has dumplings, an orange and a popsicle. She has a yogurt for a snack when Paw comes home. God forbid he doesn't feed her! No wonder why she adores him!!!! So Bill comes home early from school, cleans the bathroom pee up because I just threw a towel at it earlier and then he washes her using the sink. She freaks at the tub lately, so he is giving in to her whimpers. He washes her hair and upper body. I asked if he washed her entirely. He said he didn't. I say "not for nothing but she PEED down her leg, you think maybe she should be washed there?????" BOZO! So he washes her legs. I slathered her with lotion, then gave her the Zithromax. As usual, that went over like a lead balloon. I am getting better at this. Even the doctor had a hard time yesterday with her and the Benadryl. I do believe I have found the trick now though.

Off to bed she went with Baba. She passed out immediately. He came downstairs within minutes.

So that was my day. I am sooooo pooped. This kid goes morning to night with no naps!!!!!

I am asking myself a few questions now. Who created this rule about not being able to tie children to trees? Who says you can't leave them in a car while running errands? Who said that locking them in a closet is wrong?It's abuse? HUH? Apparently, they NEVER HAD KIDS! WIMPS!!!!! Motherhood is for tough broads like me. Only a broad could change a Pull Up in a parking lot:)

XO