Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Under Siege!!!!!

Yesterday my best buddy Donna was supposed to come over and we were going to go shopping for a nice shower outfit for me. Well she didn't come. She pulled a muscle and was miserable. So I figured I would shower and head downstairs to start the day. Well let me tell you, it doesn't take long around here!!!!! First of all, Ping can figure out any locking device made. She can conquer toddler devices like an engineer. If we put things high up, she pulls up a chair. Other than locking her in a room, we have no control over her. So I am getting ready and I can hear her downstairs. Now I know what you are saying, "get a GATE." They do not work for Pingzilla! So back to what I was saying. I hear noises. I hear the fridge opening and shutting. I hear the dishwasher opening and her rolling out the top and bottom racks. This is a new game for her. Now if she was putting all the clean dishes away, I would be thrilled, but I know she isn't. I feel like me, the house and the cats are under siege! I can only imagine the damage being done. I call to her, but she is far too busy to answer or show up. DAMN! So I grab the laundry, hold my breath and make a beeline for the first floor. The first thing I see is milk in the hallway. WTH? Well I have so much laundry, I don't see the next problem. I feel the next problem quite well though. I walk into the kitchen, take a left and walk into the dining room and what happens? I go flying. I didn't fall though. Phew! I latch onto the buffet area for safety. I turn to see what I slipped on and it's a combination of yogurt, milk and water!!!!!! I am beside myself. Why is having a child so dangerous to one's health? Mental heath damage is expected. However, physically I have to try and keep upright daily, why??

You know in China, we have to promise to love and care for them. Never to abandon them. What do they ask THEM to do? Do you promise to love your mama and baba? Do you promise not to torture them? Do you promise to sit like a good little child and play while mama gets ready in the morning? Do you promise to not whine? To not demand? To not spit, hit, kick or look at them sideways? If Ping said she promised she wouldn't do any of that stuff, she LIED! Thanks China for protecting the PARENTS!!!!! Well I oughta.

So what did I do you wonder? I took pictures. I will share them with you. I wouldn't want you thinking I make this stuff up and my life is really all rainbows and sunshine!!!

You should see the shirt she was wearing for all of 15 minutes. That had to go into the laundry and we had to find a new one. She was covered in pink yogurt. The shirt was red. Girlfriend didn't match!

Anyway, I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and slip again. Not only did she also get the yogurt all over the area by the fridge, but now it's all in the bathroom as well. How does that happen????? Well, she opened up approx. 5 cups of yogurt and dumped each one in the trash. She dumped 1/4 on the floor, 1/4 on her and the rest went into the trash. For the love of Ping.

The rest of the day went smoothly. She played, she annoyed me, she screamed loud in excitement, she ignored me. Typical stuff.

My dear friend Kim came over to meet her. Well Ping just thought she was great. She gave kisses and hugs. Ping wanted to go outside. That was odd. Bill took her out a few times. Then Bill brought her trike in from the garage. If that isn't asking for trouble. So she and Bill drove around the house on the trike. She would drive her little car and he the trike, then they all got on the trike (Kim too) and then the stuffed dog drove the trike. It was great fun!!!!!!

So now we are onto today!!!!!! I take a quick shower this morning while Ping hovers in the bedroom. YAY! Nothing like starting off a day in a great way. Oh shit, Ping has left the room. UGH. I finish getting ready and it's eerily quiet. I know she is feeding the cats. I sense it in my bones!!!!!!! So I finish up faster than a bullet and come downstairs. All I can say is my typical phrase "OH NO PINGgggg." The lower gggggg is the giving into motherhood at the end of the OH NO. I give up. I would like to fling myself at the floor like a 3 year old and say "I GIVE UP." I can't though. I am a mom and mom's are superheros.

There has to be 20 plates. Most are empty. There are remnants of cat food packets everywhere. There is food on the floor, some on the plate. There is wet food and dry food mixed together. UGH!!!!!! So I tell Ping to pick up her plates:))))) I tell her to pick up the dried food on the floor that is all over:)))))) I get her to pick up the remnants of packets:)))))))) I am supermom and I can tell you what to do and when to do it Miss Ping:)))))))) She does it:))))))))) YAY! I am sick of cleaning her messes!!!!!!! We finish that job and discuss breakfast. I give her a big yogurt. She LOVES yogurt!!!!!! I know, you are surprised here! I give her juice. Another favorite. What does she do after she finishes it all? She puts her yogurt in the trash and she puts her cup in the dishwasher. It's so cute that she mimics absolutely everything we do. I mean she isn't even three and she wants to put her cup in a dishwasher. I think that is very cool.

We went to her first dentist appointment today. She refused to open her mouth, so that didn't go well. I don't blame her. She has had enough people fiddling with her mouth cause of her cleft palate, I am sure.

We then ran to a few stores. I tried going to Fashion Bug to look for something to wear to the upcoming shower. That was a grave mistake. So far I have been able to shop with her. It has been hard not being able to restrain her. However, looking for clothes is impossible. She was weaving through the clothes. I couldn't see her. It was most frustrating. I tried on two things and decided to leave. I figured that I would shop another time with baba or a friend in tow!!! I will say that I purposely put her in squeaky shoes today:) It helps when you are shopping and need to look away for a moment. She does not go far with baby lojack!!! I love those shoes. She has a few pairs. I will say that the pair she had on today was annoying as all hell, but the system worked for me today!!!!!!

Well I am off to finish up some stuff and hit the hay. Mornings come earlier and earlier when you are a parent, no?


1 comment:

Christina said...

This is like a game of Survivor: outwit, outlast, and outplay the Pingster! ;)