The Beat Goes On!!!!!!!!!

My wonderful neighbor wanted to come over today with her son to see Ping. I was thrilled because I have been wanting to thank her for babysitting the cats since we have been home, but have not had the time. She and her son did a terrific job. Well the phone rings and it's a friend and I am looking down the driveway for my neighbor. I get off the phone, but it rings again. It's someone that needs to make an appointment. Just as I am finishing the conversation, Ping scratches me and tells me she has to go to the bathroom. I get off the phone and jump up from my chair immediately, but it's too late. My sweet baby girl rips her pants down to her ankles, whips down the Pull Ups, now Pull DOWNS and squats. She proceeds to poooooooo all over the dining room floor! In 2 places. If there was a National Poo Contest, she would win hands down. Pre-Ping, poo was just poo. Now it's a National event! When did life become about POO?

So she tries to pick up her pants. I pick her up at a great speed because I don't want her covered in this mess. I rush her to the bathroom and sit her on the toilet. Amazingly there was nothing left to dole out. So I run around and try to clean up the stuff because my neighbor is due in 10 seconds. Nothing like having a house smell like crap before the neighbors come!!!!!!

Sure enough, they show up and I apologize for the smell. They bring the cutest baby doll for Miss Ping. What do I do? As I am talking, I am taking the paper towel with the crap in it and scraping it with a wooden stick so that I can bring another stool sample to the Pediatrician. I am gagging and trying to say "don't look and Ping, say thank you" at the same time. It was awful. What a comedy show. How do you talk with your neighbors and scrap poo into vials at the same time? You just do!!!!

If that wasn't bad enough, the toilet wasn't working because it was jammed. Why? Oh mommy decided if she pretended to nap, Ping would too. Instead Ping tucked mommy in with her Barbies. Do you know what it is like to open your eyes and have Barbie boobs staring at you? God forbid she have clothes on!!!!!! So I close my eyes for the most part, but keep one partially cracked so I can see what the Pingmeister is doing. My sweet baby goes into my office, shuts the door, chats on the phone which means no one can call and proceeds to bang on the computer. Well the pretending wore off and I passed out for 10 minutes. Wow, 10 minute hurricanes were sited in the area. In 10 minutes, Ping drank 2 yogurt drinks, one was partially on the floor, she swiped my comb from my bathroom and she jammed the toilet with all of her wash cloths that get sudsy when wet. I knew she smelled very fragrant. For a second, I thought she got into the laundry detergent. I swear I was allergic to her. She was so smelly from the cloths it was incredible. Well truth be told, it was my fault for falling asleep. What did I expect? It wasn't intentional. I had a headache and all my teeth were aching!

So when Bill got home after making a special trip to the store for DUMPLINGS for the child, he had to fix the toilet. Mind you, I had to confess I fell asleep. I am working on MOM OF THE YEAR and I don't think I am getting his vote.

I reserve the right to get better at this!